- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel the exact same way. You’re not alone! You’ve got this ☺️
- Date posted
- 4y
thank you!! sometimes i just need a boost, not reassurance but just a boost to keep going!!! :()
- Date posted
- 4y
* :))
- Date posted
- 4y
Damn this is so relatable!! Especially the “stop forcing yourself” thing I feel that. Like many others have said, those who come to accept their sexuality generally feel better about it. Of course this is not always the case if they’re in an environment where it is unsafe to be openly gay (I think that can create lots of distress) but that’s different than knowing you’re in a community that would support and accept you and you still have debilitating fear around the possibility.
- Date posted
- 4y
that's what i mean,, all of my friends and family are super supportive, some don't understand all the recent "changes" going on with the "youth" but they're respectful and mind their business... i also feel bad because i have a lot of LGBTQ friends and i defend them so much, i also defend other minorities (i'm mixed) i'm just a really sympathetic person so sometimes when i defend these groups they get suspicious and i get upset lol
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lex You sound SO much like me, or at least like your experiences. Something my therapist has been really interested in is this obsession I have not only about the HOCD but then also about worrying how I’ll be perceived
- Date posted
- 4y
This is exactly what I’ve been going through... this is so wild to me...orientation can’t just change overnight remember that. It’s because your mind finds a stimuli to fuel the OCD. I’m not physically attacted to any guys but my mind makes me try to believe I am. I even keep having these repetitive dreams where I’m in some type of battlefield with the gay thoughts and I manage to make it out and outside waiting for me is a girl who I want to pursue. It has to mean something, it has to mean my fight ain’t over and we can do anything and everything to not let this thing beat us.
- Date posted
- 4y
i try to tell myself "if i wa really questioning, would i really obsess over it this much?" like i have talked to my mom about rhis and she said she'd love and accept me no matter what, same with my family and friends but that doesn't make me feel any better lol, just gotta push through!
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lex You’re not gay if it makes you anxious. Gay people are happy to be gay. They embrace it. I would rather live a life with OCD than be with a man. That’s how I know who I am...like I said, your orientation doesn’t change over night
- Date posted
- 4y
Me too bro
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
- Date posted
- 18w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 11w
Today I woke up and immediately was flooded with intrusive thoughts. I was thinking about how I want to remembered when my time on earth is finished. I want to be remembered by my kindness and my heart. I want to be remembered by the lives i’ve changed. But then it hit me. What if you want to be a girl? What if you’re just telling yourself you don’t want to be a girl? I shouldn’t be scared, my family would love me no matter what I was. But this.. This is taking its toll on me. People call me maam all the time. I have feminine features and qualities.. It makes me question everything I know about my life. But I think what makes it worse is that i’m scared but don’t feel scared? Like I don’t feel intense fear like I once did. I know that I don’t want to be a girl. I don’t want boobs or long hair and nails. I have feminine qualities but I just exist. And this morning it’s hitting me very hard. I hate TOCD. I hate that I can’t just have one moment of peace. That it finds ways to seep into my life by finding areas i’m weakest in. I read other people’s stories and kinda do checking with it. And to make it all worse my for you page is FILLED with trans tiktok’s and peoples experiences. It’s making me mad. Why can’t I just be happy? Like everyone else in my house? Why did I inherit this stupid fucking disorder? And why do I question everything single thing about myself. First it was fear I was going to hurt someone and be a monster. And now it’s fucking thoughts of me wanting to be a girl?? Anyways have a nice day guys.
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