I feel like ever since i got diagnosed with OCD and my theme being HOCD, my brain is trying to tell me that is isnt and this is who I am, i try to accept the thoughts and just let them come in but then i get scared when i get "too relaxed" if that makes sense... i literally saw two guys on tiktok yesterday who i thought were good looking and my brain was like "stop forcing yourself" when i wasnt..I just want this to stop... i'm trying so hard not to do compulsions or any of that but it's so hard... especially in the morning i've noticed..

Sexual Orientation OCD

coccorocco

Date posted: 4y

I feel the exact same way. You’re not alone! You’ve got this ☺️

kpoplover

Date posted: 4y

thank you!! sometimes i just need a boost, not reassurance but just a boost to keep going!!! :()

kpoplover

Date posted: 4y

* :))

Lili

Date posted: 4y

Damn this is so relatable!! Especially the “stop forcing yourself” thing I feel that. Like many others have said, those who come to accept their sexuality generally feel better about it. Of course this is not always the case if they’re in an environment where it is unsafe to be openly gay (I think that can create lots of distress) but that’s different than knowing you’re in a community that would support and accept you and you still have debilitating fear around the possibility.

kpoplover

Date posted: 4y

that's what i mean,, all of my friends and family are super supportive, some don't understand all the recent "changes" going on with the "youth" but they're respectful and mind their business... i also feel bad because i have a lot of LGBTQ friends and i defend them so much, i also defend other minorities (i'm mixed) i'm just a really sympathetic person so sometimes when i defend these groups they get suspicious and i get upset lol

Lili

Date posted: 4y

@Lex You sound SO much like me, or at least like your experiences. Something my therapist has been really interested in is this obsession I have not only about the HOCD but then also about worrying how I’ll be perceived

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

This is exactly what I’ve been going through... this is so wild to me...orientation can’t just change overnight remember that. It’s because your mind finds a stimuli to fuel the OCD. I’m not physically attacted to any guys but my mind makes me try to believe I am. I even keep having these repetitive dreams where I’m in some type of battlefield with the gay thoughts and I manage to make it out and outside waiting for me is a girl who I want to pursue. It has to mean something, it has to mean my fight ain’t over and we can do anything and everything to not let this thing beat us.

kpoplover

Date posted: 4y

i try to tell myself "if i wa really questioning, would i really obsess over it this much?" like i have talked to my mom about rhis and she said she'd love and accept me no matter what, same with my family and friends but that doesn't make me feel any better lol, just gotta push through!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@Lex You’re not gay if it makes you anxious. Gay people are happy to be gay. They embrace it. I would rather live a life with OCD than be with a man. That’s how I know who I am...like I said, your orientation doesn’t change over night

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Me too bro

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