- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I gotta give you props for admitting that even while you get turned on by same sex sexual parts, it doesn't mean it has anything to do with your sexuality. This is something DOZENS of HOCD sufferers see as black and white. It's human to be attracted to sexual reproductive parts on other humans regardless of the gender. They're meant to be attractive. If you don't feel comfortable with changing with your friends or with other room in a changing room, then you can simply let them know that. There's nothing wrong with wanting your privacy. Nothing about that seems predatory to me. Men and women change in locked rooms all the time. Sorry you're going through this
- Date posted
- 4y ago
thanks. i just wish i felt comfortable (it’d make life easier). but beyond that, i feel like this uncomfortableness could be a sign that i’m not straight (since i imagine straight women don’t fear being predatory) so my sexuality isn’t what i thought it was
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@garden You're still very young and it's okay not to know what your sexuality is yet. Just take your time with these kind of things
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 how are you doing btw?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@garden I'm doing okay. Not great, not terrible. Thanks for asking. Still ruminating
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 i’m glad you’re doing okay but i’m sorry it’s still not great
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@garden What's still not great? Your day? I'm sorry to hear that
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 no no i meant that you said you’re not great but not terrible hahah. so i’m sorry you don’t feel great
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@garden Oh, I understand. Just a lot of ruminating about sexual stuff in the past and the future. I never used to do this before but now I do. It's a mish mash of false memories and real event and that I could be exaggerating everything
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 yeah no it’s sounds difficult having so much going on at once and being uncertain
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@garden Yeah, I'm honestly hoping that my OCD has just exaggerated everything especially since there were times where I felt I didn't have anything to worry about. Do you get those moments?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 yup!! a week ago i felt so content with things and stuff but now i’m super uncertain again and questioning everything
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@garden Jeez I guess that's another part of OCD. I confessed to my best friend today and she just told me that it's all in my head but then my OCD tried to remember something else trying to make it seem like it was really really terrible but I'm not trying to let it
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 you’ve got this 💪 it’s like the confession and your friend saying it’s fine made you feel a bit better so your ocd had to dig even harder
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I kinda get that. I often obsessed about how weird I was with looking at butts even though I didn’t feel arousal. It was more like acknowledging or sizing up I guess like “her butt is big” But my OCD makes it feel like that kind of predatory looking at butts thing was a sign and that I was ignoring my arousal. Even though I don’t remember feeling arousal or any attraction. It still kind of bothers me because I doubt what I actually felt.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’ve had this!! Suddenly you feel like you were aroused even if you weren’t
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I know a friend thats gone through this herself. Looking at butts even though she felt no arousal and felt like she was a sexual predator because of it. It's a mess. OCD really flares up over common things
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 I find myself trying to remember and “make sure” as a compulsion but it gets worse and then I just start forming a false memory. I just need to try to move on with it and accept what I can readily remember.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@stop. I understand this. It sucks and I'm sorry to hear that. Ruminating however does get us nowhere.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 Yes you are right
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@stop. I hope you've been getting better, buddy. I know we haven't talked much but I am rooting for you. You will be okay.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 Thank you! I am trying and I have therapy soon so hopefully it will help.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@stop. It definitely will! I'm glad you are able to get therapy. I'm proud of you. :)
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I get turned on by large breasts too, and I get the same fears
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Have you ever thought that even while you're turned on by large breasts, you sexually prefer whatever it is that you do? That doesn't sound wrong at all
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 Well it’s only like sexual images of breasts, not like if I was walking down the street. And I want to think that, but I doubt and get afraid that I’m lying because I haven’t had an orgasm with my husband (tmi I’m so sorry)
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime You're honestly fine. Sexual feelings are different from general feelings. Please please don't use sex with your husband as a compulsion. It'll do more harm than good. That sounds like something you should take a break from. Something you oughta let your husband know about. Feet is something I find very arousing regardless of gender, but 99% of the time I *prefer* them on women since I'm definitely attracted to women. Is it a thing where you're confused on which gender you're attracted to? Or you know you like men but sexual themes on a women can be arousing for you?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 The second one. I have liked men and dreamt and wanted to with men since I was a kid but sexual themes on women are confusing
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime Ok, I'm the same way with women. What makes you confused about sexual themes with women?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 I just get aroused by erotic depictions of women. And I find in my own sex life I almost act as a sexual object toward men, and I find that to be arousing. So while I think it’s just like this internalized arousal of being a sexy woman, ocd is also present to make me doubt
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime Do you think it's fair to say your a sexual object to men in general or just your husband? Did you have these feelings towards erotic women before OCD?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 Men in general I think. And yes
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime We're you bothered by this arousal before having OCD?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 Nope. Not at all. It just kind of mirrored how I liked to be treated in bed and I always had crushes on men regardless
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime Well if you weren't bothered by this erotic attractions to women and you feel that it was always present and arousing in the sense of how you wanted to be around your husband sexually, then I don't see anything wrong with that at all. I think this is definitely just OCD trying to latch onto something that you aren't certain of.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 Yeah I know. I literally only think about sex with men etc but something is more erotic about a woman I feel. Which could be societal conditioning of a woman as the sex object and it’s kind of manifested itself in a lot of ways for me. But it worries me that maybe I would be super aroused by actually being with a woman and I would like it more than being with my husband. And I really do not want to be wrong and have misled my husband. I love him and want a good sex life with him
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime It meant nothing to me pre ocd but now it’s like a sign I’ve been missing and it means so much
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime Your OCD sounds a lot like someone else I know honestly. I think why you find it arousing is because you may feel that you can be just like the women that are depicted in an erotic perspective. You already said that you like to be sexy towards men which isn't a bad thing because you indeed like men. You have your husband and you love him. It sounds like you two are great for each other. Your OCD is causing you to ruminate on this particular thing. You can sit with the uncertainty and definitely use mindfulness to counter against it. You don't even sound bisexual to me to say the least. I think this is normal for men and women.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 I think ocd in general just loves to torture us. It’s stupid. I know it’s dumb when every night I have sex dreams about men and find myself attracted to men I meet. I don’t get it, it’s like my mind created it’s own problem. How long have you been suffering?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime Yeah it can be pretty ridiculous. I've been suffering from this since the middle of 2020. It all started with my sexting in the past. Then it latched on to real event mistakes in the past and sometimes POCD. The majority of it is sexual ocd
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 My OCD is even telling me I shouldn't be overly attracted to Women even though I've never had a problem with it before. It tells me I'm such a pervert or a Deviant for fantasising, masturbating, or having sexual dreams about women which I've had all three.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 I’m sorry, I know how devastating and exhausting it can all be. I hope we find ways to get better
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime It's okay. Thanks for your support. It means a lot. I hope I was able to help.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 You were very helpful! Have you gone through therapy?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime Thanks so much! I haven't gone through therapy yet. If you want to talk further elsewhere we definitely can
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 I don’t really have any social media sadly! I got rid of them all after college lol. But I’m on here a lot so chances are I’ll see any posts or updates!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime I actually think that's very good! It's good to take your breaks with social media when you want to focus on other things. I'm completely okay with that! I'd love to get to know you more and help you out is all!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@BigGip09 Totally, same here!!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@maybethistime Awesome!! When did you start worrying about OCD?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 6w ago
So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond