So everything feels so real at the minute and my brain is making it feel like it’s not OCD and i’m but there’s two things that give me hope... 1)I told mum mum I was certain I had ocd back last September in order to try and get help because I knew I would never be fully happy or content until I was diagnosed, stopped doubting and knew the things I’d felt and thought weren’t real. 2)I’ve worried with so much over the last three years, over POCD, incest, beastiality, cannibalism, necrophillia, Being gay but then also being a homophobe, being a racist, worries about my band, stalker, rapist, Holocaust denier, animal abuser, women abuser and some others. Then not only that but I’ve matched so many symptoms many of which I did before I knew it was a symptom. Like how I would always get ho photos as to try prove I didn’t fancy someone only to find out months down the line it’s a symptom. I’ve dealt with this so many days, some worse than others. Plus all the research I’ve done on it all, so many nights wasted scouting ocd action, so many posts already in this app, so many ocd videos watched, so many article reads and self diagnosis tests. It feels so real at the minute though, I pray it’s OCD but my brain tells me it’s not and there’s no chance but then I think about all the possible themes I’ve dealt with and how much my experience has matched others I’ve heard. Anytime I’ve asked if anyone else has a similar experience with something they say they have. I’ve spoken to my mum about it and she understands. I’ve spent the last 2 hours maybe 2 1/2 tonight researching and reading. My hope and theory is that it must be ocd because if I am what I fear i am I would have never have told my mum I think I have ocd because I would have known that wasn’t true but no, I genuinely had belief, I know I did. I still have this but if hope because of the reasons I’ve listed but idk, it feels real. Most of my days at the minute revolve around me arguing about the thoughts all day and why it’s ocd until I take a break by watching YouTube and distracting myself for 30 minutes. Then later on I go downstairs to try feel better and ignore the thoughts but it comes in anyway and because I’m around people and can’t speak out loud the thoughts get worse so I feel worse and go upstairs and argue the rest of the night with maybe a few tries at relaxing and watching YouTube very so often. I mean the other night, I came down to the living room because if POCD thoughts to ignore them Because they felt real and stuff but then I got incest thoughts over my family which ended up upsetting me and causing anxiety and on top of that I got beastiality thoughts when I’d hug my dog and stuff. Even now my brain tries saying why the beastiality thoughts aren’t OCD and why the incest thoughts aren’t OCD. When I think of my experience I think it screams ocd but everything feels so real atm