i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd yet but i’m pretty sure i have it. when i was younger i used to hear things in my head like if you don’t do this in 5 seconds then something would happen to your family. i could manage that abs still can however something else is triggering me. i am afraid of becoming lesbian/ bi. i admire many female celebrities like dancers and stuff and i have always wanted to be them/ look like them up untill now in my head somethings telling me i wanna date them. this is completely untrue and it’s messing me about now every day i wake up and fear i’m lesbian or bi and i don’t know it or i’m so deeply in denial before i used to get discusted by the intrusive thoughts ans now something in my head is telling me i like it. the other day on tiktok a masculine women popped up on my fyp and something in my head told me i liked her and i wanted to date masculine women! i then searched through the vids of masculine women to see if i got aroused but thankfully i couldn’t feel anything. by this point i’ve stopped feeling anything for men and i just wish i could like boys in the way i used to!! i can’t think senarios in my head about boys anymore without an intrusive thought sayijf i like women. please i’m so confused and scared abs upset i need help

omg i’m so glad i’m not alone! and yes i am a dancer and i’m deeply insecure as every girl seems to have b00bs and i don’t so i always used to find myself looking at there chests to see how abnormal i am but it was never EVER becuase i liked them or had a crush on them it was simply becuase how insecure i was! now it seems that i don’t like boys any more and every time i see a lesbian couple in my head it’s says oo i want that when really i could give anything to have boy problems rn. i’m also mixing up friendships and admiring people with romantic and sexual relationships and it’s doing my head in. a few months ago i used to check out lesbian couples to see if i got aroused in any way and yes i got a groinsl response( sorry this sounds abit tmi) and now i find myself constantly checking out couples(lesbian) to see if i would want to be in them. i’m so sorry you have to go through this and i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy! i’m always here if you need anything and i’m glad your getting therapy sessions! <33

@anonymous040107 omg yes i always caught myself staring at them (especially bc we’re all wearing leotards) but it was never that i actually was attracted to them in that way. i feel like all girls do that because it’s just curiosity. anyways then things escalated worse and now i keep imangining some sort of gross scenarios of a family member that i literally haven’t seen in so many years and friends moms and stuff. and it sucks cause i’m kinda too embarrassed to actually go into full detail with my therapist. i just feel like this type of ocd is the most embarrassing and i keep thinking i’m going crazy or something. also how old do u happen to be? i understand if ur nkt comfortabel answering but i just never rly see other girls my age with this (i guess because no one rly talks about it)

@😚😚 yes especially the leotards and stuff! and i am 14 years old btw. for my life i’ve been abit of an attention seeker i wouldn’t say in a bad way but i’d say stuff really loud so a certain person could hear( that used to be boys) but i’ve also done to teachers as i’m always scared people see me as a baby or something so i say stuff to change their minds about me as i care what people think. now every time i say something my brain tells me i’m “flirting” with them otherwise i wont care what they think. it’s so hard as i just wish i could look at boys the same. i’m also from the uk and there’s a lot of “chavs” especially the girls and every time i walk past a chavvy girl i feel neverous and uncomfortable as they stare and whisper and give looks however i don’t feel like this if it’s a girl who isn’t a chav. my brain then tells me this is becuase i’m deeply attracted to the girl when i’m nothing of the sort!!

@🤎🥥🍂 omg i’m 15. i live in the usa but i’ve literally always wanted to live in the uk. do u do ballet? cause sameee. and i’m also a borderline attention seeker (in dance) i alwayysss try to be the abolsute best in my class lol and i get so frustrated when i’m not. i also i’m terrible at overthinking and i can’t rly deal with being alone for too long because that’s when my ocd kicks in. i think tahts why it’s gotten rly bad for me (and others) over quarantine and the pandemic. i just feel like such a disgusting person for getting such random gross thoughts. :/ it definitley helps tho to see that there’s others having the same problems.

@😚😚 yesss i do ballet! i was also a gymnast u till i was 11 but i quit bc of how toxic it was. and omg i completely relate to me always wanting to be the best ahh! if i feel i’m doing stuff good and i’m not getting complemented then i get so mad!

@🤎🥥🍂 hahaha sameee i always need the teachers attention and compliments to feel good which is probably super bad lmao. but i also used to do gymnastics when i was little but i quit for dance. another issue i always kinda had was that i feel like my ocd issues don’t match a “ballet dancers” issues if that makes sense? like a ballet dancer should be worried about nutcracker roles or an audition, not whether she’s gay or not. also have u ever done YAGP?

@😚😚 EXACTLY. and no i’ve not done YAGP is it good? i also feel like little things like my dog always growling at me when i go near him for no apparent reason means i’m gay? or when i wear my hair in a messy bun i worry if people think i’m gay. it’s so so so annoying and tbh at times it feels like i’m in deep denial and i only ever feel better whilst reading through these comments and other HOCD apps!

@🤎🥥🍂 omg yesss!! i remember it all kinda started for me 2 months ago when i decided to try eyeliner. and on tiktok, it’s always like “only alt girls wear eyeliner and they’re bi” which of course is not true. but then i was like shoot omg maybe i’m bi or gay because i’m wearing eyeliner and i like wearing it! things got worse and worse from there and now i just have super inappropriate thoughts about people lol. and i’m doing YAGP this year for the first time so excited! it’s the one thing keeping my mind of my ocd for a bit. i always make up scenarios like “if the fridge beeps one more time before i close it, i’m gay” and it’s so stupid. do u happen to have instagram or something bc it’s easier to dm there?

@🤎🥥🍂 i’m literally so glad that i found someone my age that relates. plus we have tons of random stuff in common! i’ll follow u

@😚😚 me too i’m so glad ahh! and i’ll follow you back too! <3

oh okay tysm i’ve had it downloaded for ages and i’ll take a look!