I feel like people with hocd end up bisexual and i feel like im becoming happy at the thought of being with woman and i wanna cry:(

Im sorry i forgot too, im not actually happy at the thought. Im scared i am and am just in denial and im just masking it under fear

It doesnt make sense i know none of this does

@hate_ocd.123 just stop ruminating. use truth statements. like for me: i love my boyfriend i would like to marry him i am not interested in sex with a woman now i would not date a woman i don’t know how i’m going to feel in the future my obsession is around if i would experiment if we broke up or in the future.

@holley But idk how i feel rn. I feel like im lying to myself. Mine revolves around not having what i truly want because im something else.

@hate_ocd.123 i know what you mean. you need therapy. it has really helped me evaluate my emotions

@holley Im scared erp will make me okay with being gay (theres nothing wrong with that i just dont want to end up with a women) and i’ll never like men even though i really want to :(

@holley This also makes everything so much worse cause i was sexually assaulted by a man when i was 9 and witnessed him sexually assault 7 other girls. And i’ve just had a really bad upbringing with guys. And now im scared it made me gay. Because i’ve talked to my mom and she’s like “from all your trauma it makes sense how you would want it but are repulsed by it.” Cause i figured out wasn’t gay cause that thought scared me so much and gave me so much anxiety and made me uncomfy and my mom says thats not what attraction is suppose to feel like. You have to want it in every way. And with guys, ive fallen in love with one guy and wanted him in every single way. And there have been times with guys where we got close and i got turned on but there was a blockage in my head. And with girls ive never felt that way. Like two of my best friends are bi, and one of them hit on me when she first came out two years ago. Shes absolutely gorgeous but i’ve never liked her. And when she did i was so uncomfortable and confused and scared that i did want it but i didnt. Then my other friend liked me and stopped talking to me, but like we did normal friend things like drawing on eachothers hands. She asked me if id ever date a girl and i said “no i wouldn’t, i just can never see myself with one” and after i friendzoned her she stopped talking to me But idk im just so confused and i know i need a massive amount of therapy. I’m a special type of crazy 🥲🤌🏻

Like i said im sorry i didnt put a trigger warning. I’ve just been told by some people that they experienced same sex attractions and got into relationships and that’s what made them start obsessing. Then others who now identify as bisexual and it scared me thats all.

@hate_ocd.123 read what you wrote again. someone that’s actually bi or gay or lesbian that start obsessing (very rare) actually experience attraction to someone, someone with ocd has a random thought that they might like someone or that they are gay and it’s completely random and it scares them.

@holley Yeah that’s how mine started years ago. The guy i liked called me and my friend a lesbian and i obsessed for a week if i was then i got over it. Then three months later i was watching my favorite guy youtuber and he came out as gay and said “there was a random question of what if i’m gay?” when he was 12-13 and i was almos thirteen. Then ever since then on and off ive obsessed about being a lesbian, even though ive fallen in love with a guy and have gotten turned on by guys touching me and have rejected girls🙃 STILL SCARED AND STILL FEEL LIKE ONE WOOOOOO OCD YAY