i’m watching Friday the 13th and there’s a lot of nudity and i’m scared i like it. i can’t tell if i do or not. but i feel like i do. i feel jealous that they have a big chest because i rlly don’t. but i’m getting thoughts saying maybe i like it

yes.

@animal35353 Sorry that you feel that way about your body. Don't compare yourself to others it'll just make things worse. You can maybe sit with the thoughts of you probably liking them or not

@BigGip09 i’ve never rlly understood that. how do i do it. do you have any tips ?

@animal35353 The idea of sitting with the thoughts? It's all about accepting uncertainty. Don't try to solve the thoughts. Tell them that you'll do it later. Don't figure it out.

@BigGip09 okay thank you !! much appreciated

@animal35353 You're welcome! I'm gonna try this too

@BigGip09 i wish you all the luck. you’ve got this

@animal35353 New real event though recently triggered me but I'm trying not to ruminate on it and trying to calm down

@BigGip09 your going to be okay. try breathing exercises

@animal35353 Definitely trying. Feel like a monster and a horrible person because of the incident but I'm still trying to breathe and practice mindfulness

@BigGip09 does it help to talk about the event?

@animal35353 I'm not sure but I can if you want

@BigGip09 it might help. idm if you need to vent. might help me put my mind off this movie

@animal35353 Sure, if it can help, I can talk about it. Many months ago I just remember wanting to see feet on a porn site so I just searched for it but searched for a vague search like "little sis feet" to see what I can get and I got a boring video about some doctor and a female patient. I don't know what even happened in the video mostly but it had to be something foot related. But after finishing that, I just ended up crying really hard because I don't think I really wanted to watch porn that night at all and I got many thoughts of "maybe I have a porn addiction" and ever since that might I've been worried about it, did a whole bunch of research on it, and didn't want to go back to hardcore porn. Now, I don't go on porn sites at all, I'm much more aroused by softcore content that has adult women in it and I don't get any risks of seeing things very inappropriate because I don't have to search for anything and I can just follow trusted sexy models that aren't ashamed of what they do. I guess that's it. I feel like a horrible piece of garbage though

@BigGip09 can i ask what the reason is that you feel disgusting??

@animal35353 Oh um. It's mostly directed towards the fact that I was still watching porn and still felt dirty and addicted when I did at the time and the search I put in, even though I compulsively just wanted something based on my fetish. But now I don't search for anything and just follow Instagram babe models

@BigGip09 I guess my POCD is trying to twist things idk I'm getting less anxious when I explain it but that's a compulsion...

@BigGip09 do you fear that you have an addiction?

@animal35353 At the time, yes I definitely did. But, ever since then, I've worked on it. I don't even go on porn sites anymore. It's been months since I have. I'm not turned on by anything hardcore when I can just get more arousing content that is softcore on YouTube and Instagram. Or just my imagination really

@BigGip09 i see. so what makes you triggered ?

@animal35353 The search term, the time I was addicted. Am I exaggerating again? I feel awful about this. My triggers are mostly sexual things so I guess the event connected to it pretty well. And when I cried

@BigGip09 i see. and what’s your most common compulsions

@animal35353 Definitely ruminating, and probably masturbating

@BigGip09 i’ve used that as a compulsion before. it makes me feel terrible. do you ever think “if i just didn’t ... this would never had happened”

@animal35353 Every single day I feel this

@BigGip09 same. omggg

@animal35353 it’s so frustrating because i feel it’s true tho

@animal35353 Yeah but at the same time I feel like OCD would just latch onto something else anyway. Like it's doing right now with what I just told you

@BigGip09 i know it’s horrible. but i have hope for you. you’ve got this :)

@animal35353 Thanks