I know I’ve always had OCD, but it’s been manageable my entire life until about a year ago. I had never ever ever experienced anxiety or suicidal thoughts until this year and I feel like I’m in a constant state of obsessive fear nowadays and it’s horrendous. I have always been the happiest, most positive person I know so this is the polar opposite of what life used to feel like :-( I feel like I’m in a totally different realm than everyone else and I’m just barely getting by. Of course it has gotten somewhat better since I have learned different ways of how to cope, but I feel extremely disheartened by the idea of this being how my life is going to be from now on. Medication makes everything way worse but I’m trying counseling again. I just really want this to go away and feel like my old self again. I feel like I took my mental peace for granted before and would trade the world to be back where I was before :-(

Yes! I moved into my new apartment, live with someone who stresses the hell out of me, got a new boyfriend and had lots of problems at first lol

I also am struggling to pay for ANYTHING now that I’m on my own and trying to juggle school, work and a relationship where I pay for a lot of the food

I think my OCD got worse living with someone who stressed me out, too. She kind of also has things that seem like anxiety/OCD or oc personality traits. Not trying to diagnose her but it felt like an external version of my OCD almost. Someone reminding me I didn't do everything right haha. Then I had a major move out of state for grad school, moved for a summer internship again, then to an apartment where I lived alone and was isolated. That last one was when it came out full swing. I don't do well isolated. Couldn't ignore it any longer and had to get help. Was sure I was a monster

Well I tried medication, Lexapro, thinking it was depression/anxiety but I reacted like I have bipolar on it so I actually got way worse including the OCD. Started therapy a few months ago. It's helping to talk to someone and we're doing a bit of ACT but not ERP really. I'm still struggling but taking good care of myself in general is keeping me a bit level. I am still new to this

Everyone reacts different and I can understand being scared. Actually I an SSRI helped my sister's OCD so much. We're all different. I hope you find something that helps you