To my fellow female SOOCD sufferers: I had some really good two weeks with some moments of clarity where I could see through all the bullsh*t my brain is producing. However I got pulled back in the cycle and here we go again 🙄 Atm I‘m not even that panicked about liking girls it is more about my attraction to men that I‘m obsessing about. I don‘t get aroused by just seeing a hot naked guy. I do fantasize more about being touched and everything by a guy and being wanted by him. Sorry if this is tmi but I‘m stressed that this means I don‘t like men enough and that Leads back to my fear of being in denial about being a lesbian. Because then I worry that I could be aroused just by the picture of a woman even if that has never happened before. And also men can get of just by lookin at pictures of hot woman, does that mean that if I am a straight girl I should be able to get turned on by just looking at good looking guys? This has been confusing the hell out of me and the whole concept of comphet hasn’t helped as well. Anyone who can relate?

Thanks a lot that was really insightful! I think black and white thinking is a huge problem when it comes to ocd and because there exists a lot of black and white information about sexuality out there, we get even more confused. I hate this whole mentality of „if you do x then you‘re y“ because my ocd always takes that out of concept and runs wild with it. And when I have clarity I know how stupid it is I really do but when I‘m in the middle of a lapse it all comes to getter and creates this different reality and the harder I try to escape the worse it gets. Thank you a lot for taking the time to answer and share your perspective!

@Heleni Absolutely! It's just like you said, people form a lot of beliefs around, if you do x, then you ARE y, etc. Its very limiting and I think tends to devalue the fact that we are allowed to be complex as humans. That philosophy has helped me to just make it through some of my worst days. :) although not saying it's easy cause I understand how easy it is to soak up stuff we read online and take it as capital T truth.

Yeah I kind of know that you‘re right. And also I never used to worry about this I just enjoyed myself with whatever was arousing me lol. Ever since I read that comphet masterdoc I obsess if I‘m visualy attracted enough to guys and the more I think about the less certain I feel ugh!!

@Heleni I haven’t read the doc because I saw lots of warnings. But I can totally relate but you’re also testing and checking which isn’t gonna help you at all.

@Justmesadly You‘re right I do on the one hand know that I‘m being very compulsive again but on the other it is soooo hard to resist. Thank you for answering to my post, ocd feels so isolating sometimes I just need to get it all of my chest.

@Heleni Yeah but it won’t get less if you don’t resist. It took me like 2 months to resist and then I was better for a month then relapsed !

@Justmesadly Uhhg I hate ocd! Sorry to hear that :/ are you working with a therapist?

@Heleni I met with a NOCD therapist last night and I start soon. Previously I was working with a normal therapist and it just made things worse

@Justmesadly Yeah a lot of people don‘t get ocd which is just sad. But it‘s great that you‘re now working with a NOCD therapist I think they have some really qualified people on there. I hope they’ll launch it in my country soon!

@Heleni Awh I hope so for you. It’s expensive so maybe look for an ocd specialist in your country

@Justmesadly I‘ve been working with a therapist for over a year now but still falling down the rabbit whole all the time. At this point I think I should really find someone who activity works with erp because mindfulness on itsown hasn’t helped me so far. Wish you all the best for therapy!

@Heleni Yes ....

Oh no! Yeah I have avoided ERP for a long time but I just got setup with someone at NOCD to start a treatment plan. I would recommend finding some way to ease into some erp if you can even if its just trying out the little suggestions on this app cause as much as it sucks, I'm realizing how that has been the big missing piece for me and why I'm not getting better after a long time with ocd

@hanny123 Yeah I thought of trying it on my own but I‘m scared of making it worse by that :/ But last week I was able to cut out a lot of my compulsions so maybe I should start there and then consider adding some erp. Really glad that you found someone on NOCD good look with your treatment!

@Heleni Thank you! And also not to scare you but I think it's good to go into erp with the expectation that it may in fact make things worse (by that I only mean it may in fact make things feel worse,but actually that's good cause you're exposing yourself to the fear and building strength to it) before you start to feel more confident and better. Good luck to you as well!