does anyone else feel like they invalidate their feelings and trauma? i’m currently 21 and i’ve had some very hard years since the age of 16 which have been a huge contribution to my excessive anxiety levels. the ages 16/17 i went through some really bad bullying (by people i considered to be best friends) which caused a lot of stress and anxiety. they picked on my looks and body. this is when my ocd first hit so i was feeling very alone and having people make fun of me for my mental health etc made it that much worse. i was also in a relationship at this point and it was starting to get toxic. this is the time i started to develop an eating disorder. i lost so much weight. my parents didn’t understand my anxiety at the slightest. then school was a big pressure for me and i had certain sets of teachers that used to be very nasty and belittling. in 2017, i was 18, my uncle passed away due to drug abuse. my anxiety and everything was high so i didn’t do as well on my a level exams as i thought so i didn’t get into the uni i wanted which caused a lot of stress. in early 2018 my granddad suffered a heart attack and was hospital bound for a week which made me feel very stressed and sad. but again, i invalidated my feelings and pushed them down bc my mind made me feel like i shouldn’t be upset. in the summer of 2018 my uncle took his own life which was a VERY horrible period for me and my family. it was my first funeral and i’ll never forget it. on top of this my relationship with my boyfriend was extremely toxic. in the summer of 2019 my grandma collapsed and was taken into hospital where they found a brain tumour. so the whole of summer was spent in hospital before and after her surgery. again, my relationship was very toxic. then when 2020 came along, the first week my intrusive thoughts were so bad and it was the first time i ever experienced false memory ocd and it was so so scary. this continued for so long and 2020 as a whole was so so difficult. with the pandemic and my relationship too. i was constantly called names, belittled, crying. i even self harmed for the first time because i felt so alone and upset and i didn’t know what to do. i don’t feel like i had the time to ever sit down and grieve everything that happened. even now i find myself invalidating my feelings and trauma. i always expect myself to be strong and perfect. i’ve had times during these years where i have acted out and not been myself which then adds onto the real event ocd. i’m now going to be 22 and i’m not in uni anymore bc my ocd was so bad i had to drop out, i’m extremely underweight and i just feel so sad and guilty all the time. i’m not writing this for any sympathy but i just wanted to see if anyone else feels like they invalidate their own trauma and not think it’s a big deal? i know this is a very long post so i appreciate anyone that has taken the time out to read it. ❤️