TMI 18+ I’m more aroused by erotic images of women in porn than men. I’m turned on by doing things with men but I’m afraid this is proof. I know women are soo sexualized and I have always wanted to be that sexy women to men. But not being turned on by naked men alone vs women in porn makes me so sad and anxious. God every day it’s something new

Needed to hear this, thank you! Going through the loss of arousal with my husband now. Definitely not giving up!

@mallorycg4 Loss of arousal is killer! I recommend just staying intimate (even if it feels gross or weird or awkward) and to communicate with your husband. A game plan is really helpful. Instead of worrying and ruminating before or during sex, do the opposite and pump yourself up and tell yourself that even if it sucks, it is what it is and you're here to have a good time. I know it's the LAST thing you'd want to do, but it can be helpful. The worst thing you could do is to avoid sex or avoid being intimate in general. Frankly, what you need is a "don't care" attitude. For example, if OCD tries to tell you that if you can't enjoy sex, it means you're bi or a lesbian, then you must tell yourself that it's certainly possible but it doesn't mean you have to leave your husband. Remember that you're with your partner not because of something as shallow as arousal, but because of the bond you have with him. OCD hates that type of thinking because you have accepted the fear and you're no longer putting the spotlight on something as vague as "arousal." I know this may or may not help, but just realize that I've been where all of you have been and I know it really sucks. It feels real, and by all intents and purposes, it is real to you. But it's not who you are and you know that. :) Good luck!

@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. Love this, thank you! Yep, it’s not gone completely (whew) but it definitely comes and goes with what the OCD is doing so highs and lows for sure. Definitely great to hear from someone on the other side of this!

@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. This was very helpful. For me I just keep re-evaluating what attraction is. Like because I was turned on by an image etc i replay it and replay it till I think that I want it... though in real life I’ve never had any sort of feeling like I wanted it. And then I measure my attraction to men in comparison. It’s a nightmare. It makes me feel uncomfortable doing anything waiting for what the next trigger is going to be I’m nervous to just watch tv or walk down the street

@Anonymous Sounds like your worst enemy is rumination :) remember that ERP is exposure AND response prevention. Try your best to stop seeking answers or looking for a conclusion. You're still the same person you were before this! I wish you the best of luck and please be kind to yourself - you're going through something very difficult but you have support here whenever you need it :)

@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. Hey! Just wondering if you still get bothered by this theme now?

@cesca Of course. OCD doesn't disappear; it takes a lot of practice and self awareness to overcome. My first subtype was harm OCD when I was a very young girl and I still to this day have to recognize that it is the OCD and not me. I hope this helps. It's important to remember that it's not a race and you will always deal with these subtypes but they become manageable and irrelevant the more knowledgeable and aware you become.

I fantasize about that too. I just hate it. When I was young I found porn and to this day I am aroused by sexual images of breasts, but I love men playing with my own. I’ve never felt anything for women I know or like girls changing in gym. It’s always been like porn or erotica but this bothers me SOO MUCH

OH MY GOD YES!!

@maybethistime That’s when the wheels went off the wagon for me during erp

@maybethistime Same! It’s SO hard especially with groinals. Like of course OCD has to add that in too 🤦‍♀️

Does anyone else analyze like that ? It’s really scaring me

@Anonymous I do all the time

All the freaking time! And then ocd creates false memories and I‘m screwed again

This is one of the things that keeps bringing back the anxiety around this theme for me, doesn’t matter that I’m really satisfied with my boyfriend in that department and struggle to see what a women can give me that a man can’t, my brain just keeps telling me that I must only like women because a sexualised image of a woman can turn me on. I’m just trying to lean in to the uncertainty of it, maybe it does mean that I only like woman and am denying my ‘true identity’ by not being with them, maybe it means that I’m a little bi which is possible, or maybe I’m straight and can be aroused by a sexual image of a woman... some days are easier than others, but the more I try and apply that thinking to my thoughts the more the brain fog clears and I start to remember who I am - stay strong ❤️

@cesca Oh my god literally the exact same. I don’t get it! I have no desire to be with a woman so my brain has no reason to worry either. It’s just dumb

@cesca I think that’s the really tough part for me too. Like I remember prior to this never really caring if I saw a beautiful women or not. But for some reason now I analyze if I see a specialized image of a women if that turns me on what does it mean. I’ve never had romantic urges towards women at all. When this first started I was disgusted by the mental images of women I would get. But I think the OCD makes me feel like that might be what I want but I’ve never actually felt a pull towards that in real life

@Anonymous When this all started I was so confused why I couldn’t get the whole questioning out of my head because I knew I did not wanted to be with a woman but the longer I have this theme the more it convinces me! And also sometimes when I overanalyze everything I feel like I have always felt this way like a false memory but it‘s so convincing. And I also get feelings that this is what I want and it just makes me so so sad 😞

@Anonymous It’s so so so difficult but you really just have to get comfortable with the uncertainty. Don’t try and reassure yourself that because you’ve never felt a pull towards woman in real life and that the images when you actually think and engage with them are not what you like, it won’t satify your OCD, it always has a counter argument. I don’t mean accept that you are a different orientation to what you identify as, but just accept that you can see a photo of a sexy woman and find that it turns you on. Maybe it means something, but equally maybe it doesn’t - hope you’re doing ok!