Extremely frustrated at the moment. I had to move home from college because I have I had a crisis due to contamination OCD. (Anybody else live their life by viewing the “clean” and “dirty” worlds?) my school only has suite style housing so I was forced to share space with two other people who were constantly bringing contamination and strangers into to my clean safe space. I’m trying to advocate for housing accommodations for next year so I can have a single suite to myself and not have to worry about performing my compulsions in the safe space. I have sent the school multiple pieces of documentation from my psychiatrist explaining why this is a medical necessity and the school is still not granting me the accommodations. I feel like I’m being punished for having OCD and they are trying to away my education. I will keep fighting for these accommodations because if they don’t grant them I’ll have no way to attend school and I’ll be forced to drop out. I just want to go to school and get my college experience like everyone else :(

Having ocd is so incredibly exhausting and depressing- my mom and dad argued with me for over an hour talking about how im a pain to be around, go in too many loops, and ruin everything and everyones mood… this conversation started with me saying im stressed out because of school and that i dont want to go because im exhausted- and idk if this is like ocd directly but it takes me like 2 hours to get ready in the morning because i need to look PERFECT and the same everyday literally 😭 and that process feels so exhausting every morning at 6am but i will NOT go to school without going through with it- i will literally be crying and shaking and wanting to go home the minute i get to school if even a single strand of my hair is not perfectly straightened or any blemishes or flaws are showing- and i cant even walk to school or anything bc im scared the humidity will mess with my hair and everything- and it just really affects my life? And yeah its freaking exhausting. And i have two more years of highschool and I dont know if im going to make it 😭i get super stressed over grades too because i need them to be extraordinary otherwise its a fail. Nothing below 95%. And thats also tiring! 😁 and my mom told me today “medication IS NOTTTT AND OPTION!!!” Like oh okay so im just cooked 😭 and therapy isnt really helping me at all- i feel like what im being told is so basic and generic and it doesn’t help me when im in a huge ocd episode- which is often… and what i hate most is like my mom says “don’t come to me with your problems after 6pm…” im sorry i cant schedule my feelings 😭 im so tired

my roommates are great people and very supportive, but they don’t understand ocd. they try to fix me by telling me things i’ve heard a million times before, and by doing things that actively trigger me as a kind of exposure therapy. i’m very particular about contaminants in my water, but i have a specific aversion to tap water, which is why i have my own water dispenser. every few weeks, i fill jugs with filtered water and keep them upstairs so others can use them too. after getting home from work, i filled my cup with ice water and, for once, didn’t inspect it like i normally would. i drank it down. when i went for a refill, the ice had melted a bit and i noticed particulates floating in the water, instantly recognizable as calcium and other minerals from our tap. i don’t explode when i’m triggered. instead, i shut down. the anxiety starts to crawl in. i felt myself spiraling while i pulled out the jug. i know it sounds stupid, but i swear there’s a real difference in smell between filtered and tap water. i checked it, sniffed it, and confirmed what i already felt. and once that thought was in my head, it took hold. i felt disgusting. i wanted to make myself puke. i couldn’t tell if it was anxiety or the water itself, but it felt like something was burning a hole in my stomach. i sent a message in our group chat asking about it, and one of my roommates said they had done it to prove i wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. they said water is water, so i shouldn’t care. i know they meant well. but when people who don’t fully understand ocd try to force those kinds of steps on you, it sticks. it reminds me of my parents. they do things like this a lot, pushing back against my compulsions, trying to help by challenging them. and sometimes, i do appreciate that. but this felt like too much. it crossed a line. and i just needed to rant.

Does anyone else with OCD find it incredibly hard to live with roomates? Like I would give ANYTHING to have my own space. Unfortunately I’m an unemployed university student so have no choice. It’s really difficult to keep my compulsions and anxiety a “secret” in front of them but I don’t want them to think I’m crazy since we’re just not that close yet. Also being in the same environment with someone else 24/7 has my nervous system CONSTANTLY on edge. But that can be due to my CPTSD as well. I’m terrified of them thinking I’m weird and analyzing everything I do, even how much time I spend in my room and not socializing. But I would still love love to have the dream roommate girlfriendships. If you relate or have any tips, I’d love to hear it!!🫶🏻