Extremely frustrated at the moment. I had to move home from college because I have I had a crisis due to contamination OCD. (Anybody else live their life by viewing the “clean” and “dirty” worlds?) my school only has suite style housing so I was forced to share space with two other people who were constantly bringing contamination and strangers into to my clean safe space. I’m trying to advocate for housing accommodations for next year so I can have a single suite to myself and not have to worry about performing my compulsions in the safe space. I have sent the school multiple pieces of documentation from my psychiatrist explaining why this is a medical necessity and the school is still not granting me the accommodations. I feel like I’m being punished for having OCD and they are trying to away my education. I will keep fighting for these accommodations because if they don’t grant them I’ll have no way to attend school and I’ll be forced to drop out. I just want to go to school and get my college experience like everyone else :(

sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔

my roommates are great people and very supportive, but they don’t understand ocd. they try to fix me by telling me things i’ve heard a million times before, and by doing things that actively trigger me as a kind of exposure therapy. i’m very particular about contaminants in my water, but i have a specific aversion to tap water, which is why i have my own water dispenser. every few weeks, i fill jugs with filtered water and keep them upstairs so others can use them too. after getting home from work, i filled my cup with ice water and, for once, didn’t inspect it like i normally would. i drank it down. when i went for a refill, the ice had melted a bit and i noticed particulates floating in the water, instantly recognizable as calcium and other minerals from our tap. i don’t explode when i’m triggered. instead, i shut down. the anxiety starts to crawl in. i felt myself spiraling while i pulled out the jug. i know it sounds stupid, but i swear there’s a real difference in smell between filtered and tap water. i checked it, sniffed it, and confirmed what i already felt. and once that thought was in my head, it took hold. i felt disgusting. i wanted to make myself puke. i couldn’t tell if it was anxiety or the water itself, but it felt like something was burning a hole in my stomach. i sent a message in our group chat asking about it, and one of my roommates said they had done it to prove i wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. they said water is water, so i shouldn’t care. i know they meant well. but when people who don’t fully understand ocd try to force those kinds of steps on you, it sticks. it reminds me of my parents. they do things like this a lot, pushing back against my compulsions, trying to help by challenging them. and sometimes, i do appreciate that. but this felt like too much. it crossed a line. and i just needed to rant.

Does anyone else with OCD find it incredibly hard to live with roomates? Like I would give ANYTHING to have my own space. Unfortunately I’m an unemployed university student so have no choice. It’s really difficult to keep my compulsions and anxiety a “secret” in front of them but I don’t want them to think I’m crazy since we’re just not that close yet. Also being in the same environment with someone else 24/7 has my nervous system CONSTANTLY on edge. But that can be due to my CPTSD as well. I’m terrified of them thinking I’m weird and analyzing everything I do, even how much time I spend in my room and not socializing. But I would still love love to have the dream roommate girlfriendships. If you relate or have any tips, I’d love to hear it!!🫶🏻