garden
- Date posted
- 4y
ImagineSisyphusHappyImagineSisyp...
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah I had this happen to me more recently. I deal usually with more POCD themes but more recently I've been freaking out over similar stuff. I've watched the step fantasy kinda porn a lot and more recently I started falling for this girl that has a daughter and I started panicking like OMG what if I did something horrible to her? I couldn't live with myself. So I've just been cutting down on how much I watch that kinda stuff. And I just remind myself how disgusted I am about it happening in real life. I try not to hyperfocus on it because I'm not going to remove the worry by becoming obsessed by it.
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm literally the same, and it's also pretty much why I quit porn and masturbating. I didn't want to associate myself with those kind of things for the sake of the taboo. I knew I didn't want to act out the things I saw on porn for the most part, but all that guilt after such minimal pleasure just isn't worth it anymore honestly. I get much more smiles, tingles, and enjoyment just talking to my friends and doing the things I usually do now that my urges to watch porn or masturbate are beginning to lessen every day I resist. Take it from someone who's had a porn addiction and has been exposed to it at such a young age. I've seen 50 year olds struggle with the same thing. It can happen to anyone. Porn is honestly not worth it. For most people, if not everyone honestly, it's a coping mechanism that can get obsessive due to the dopamine hits. You're better off without it. Porn is the reason for my OCD mostly. POCD, harm, and slight incest OCD due to the taboo titles of the videos. It's just not worth it and looking at it now, it's pretty gross.
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
Also it's really freaking nice to know I'm not alone on this or these feelings I have
garden garden
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 i’m happy you feel less alone!! and yeah you’re so right. it’s not with it. and i’m proud of you btw!
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
@garden I'm proud of you too!! It's always nice to see that no matter what situation you're in, you aren't alone. And yeah, honestly, when it came to watching so much porn when I did, it made me sort of lose a sense of my real self. It really disorts the way you see things and the way you feel. It seriously isn't worth it, buddy. I just wish more people our age and much younger could be informed about these things more. It can be so harmful and people don't realize it until they even get the thought of wanting to quit but can't.
garden garden
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 yeah. and i guess the stigma around it can make it hard for people to be educated? plus often the shame makes people not admit to it (something i’m guilty of🙋♀️)
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
@garden Yeah, it's so unfortunate. It's something everyone knows about, has seen, whether they wanted to or not, but nobody talks about it. They definitely don't talk about what it does to people and the risks. Admitting that it's a problem, taking the change to quit it all and proving to yourself that you don't need it, and for people to understand these things is a brave step up in my opinion. That "stigma" is what causes these problems to begin with.
garden garden
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 yes exactly! like if conversations around it are avoided, people will be less likely to seek help or realise they should cut down
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
@garden Exactly! Something as simple as talking about this stuff and the effects it can have on people actually HELPS us as a society. There's so many people besides us that struggle from porn/masturbating addictions or sexual habits they just can't take control of. People not being able to talk about things like these in terms of helping others just ends up marginalizing those people that suffer from it. And that's so unfair. I totally feel you on the taboo videos too. Whether it'd be searches or videos it just ends up taking a toll on you. I'm glad you've realized that or at the very least gave it a concern. I'm so glad we're able to talk about this like regular conversations. See how easy it is? Thank you for this. :)
garden garden
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 thank you too! it’s so nice to talk about it without judgement. and yeah, this awareness is the best first step for us. then change (which you’ve begun and i’m going to start!).
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
@garden Awesome!! I'm rooting for you! I recommend the Brainbuddy app since that's what I use to get help for all this!
Aaron R.Aaron R.
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm in a similar boat, I've had a major anxiety spike the past few days after looking up a stepmom video and obsessively worrying if I'm some kind of pedophile. I'm frequently bothered by the kinky kinds of roleplay I'm interested in and start worrying what it means about my character. It's a very vicious cycle to break. As a very spiritual person, lustful videos don't really fit my ethics though, so it's a temptation I really need to break, regardless of whether it's normal or not. I think lust is kind of a compulsion in and of itself for me. Just know you aren't alone!
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- Date posted
- 21w
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Northern_Dow...
- Date posted
- 20w
Real Event OCD is a different breed (18+)
Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.
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