I feel really alone in my ROCD struggles. I feel like it's never going to get better. I'm worried because my relationship is LDR and because of the virus I can't see him to build our connection in reality together. I worry because my rocd isn't getting any better. It's been 6 months now and no clarity days and I worry I have to let go cos its never getting better. Yet I don't want to. I just live in hope. I feel doomed and like the odd case here because my damn think happened just two weeks before meeting him irl. And worried I'm doomed as a result. Could someone please help me. Sorry, I just feel like the odd case because of the things I mentioned and it really upsets me. ❤️

Relationship OCD

aegyominnie

Date posted: 4y

I’m also in an LDR!! I understand how tough it is to be in one especially because there’s no possibility of physical touch or just spending time together like going out or watching movies. Please, don’t feel lonely, you’re never alone! My rOCD was also showing even before I met my partner in real life but I didn’t know what it was back then. It’s very difficult but you need to keep trying, get some professional help and hopefully you’ll be fine!!

francine

Date posted: 4y

Thank you so much. I feel like an odd case because of it you know? I met my partner for the first time irl back in September. But this thing attacked me just two weeks before. I assume because the relationship was becoming more official and serious etc! However I too had no idea wtf this was back then. It was mainly 'is he the one, do I love him enough, is this just fantasy and I don't really love him' etc. It completely knocked me off the ground and I reacted extremely to them thoughts and it's been ever since then but obviously done all compulsions and rumination on many BS since. I'm sad because mine happened just only two weeks before our meeting irl after months of connection and excitement of the meet and BAM! It was obv with me then in the first meeting and I panic because I feel it ruined our special moment together. I've still held on though I just feel sick because I'm still not over this and due to the virus have had 3 cancelled flights and haven't had time to build our connection even despite me feeling like this etc I'm just on my own ruminating. Sorry if this is long. Do you resonate with that too?? All I know is I really want to somehow overcome this with him

francine

Date posted: 4y

@francine I also want to want it and want to want a future with him and build and be excited about creating a life together later etc. :(

aegyominnie

Date posted: 4y

In my case the rOCD showed up long before meeting him, then it went away and started again a month into a very long break in our meetings. Our beginnings were pretty confusing so I think that was one of the reasons why it showed up so early. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, you’re saying that you want to want to feel something, but if you concentrate on wanting to want the feelings - you’ll never feel them. Have you tried looking for a specialist??

francine

Date posted: 4y

That's true because when we focus on wanting to want them again it's almost like we chase them away and by wanting to want them it's almost like sending a message to ourselves that we lack it so we get more of that, if that makes sense? That's how someone described it to me. I just feel like an odd case and because it was with me on our first meeting because it happened so quickly before the meeting I feel like I'm doomed or the odd case. I did have 2 long calls with a therapist recently and they assessed me. They have put me on a waiting list for someone who specialised in Ocd therapy! Fingers crossed I can begin soon. How are you finding therapy if you're doing it!?

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