okay so correct me if i’m wrong but i think i’ve been really confused for a while: so sexual attraction is finding a specific person sexually attractive and wanting to have sex with them arousal: is finding a specific fantasy or porn hot and getting aroused by this. or whatever “turns you on” i get aroused by lesbian fantasies sometimes but i get real confused because in the moment i imagine myself in that position and sometimes it feels like i actually want that? but how could i want that i don’t experience sexual attraction to girls. maybe that’s just because i’m in a relationship with a man but if we broke up i don’t think i would find another girl in real life sexually attractive.

Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.

hi guys i added to list. i’m freaking out i just need some help. signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • • talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” only being aroused by their the man’s desire for me • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. chasing the ego boost more than emotional closeness agreed with friends or mom about someone being attractive even if you didn’t feel it—another big flag being bored, ditching serious commitment, chasing the drama again it also feels like i’m acting a lot of the time to make it more romantic cause i cringe When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features- the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. you might not even be in the in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. i dont care about like what guys looks like. like my sister saw a video of a guy working out and was like got damn omg gotta like that. if i saw that i would prob be like damn to try and prove something to myself but i don’t really understand what i should feel it feels like i relate to so much comphet after i read it on reddit and it doesn’t even make me want to cry and die anymore. it feels like i tolerate men or have done it for attention or because i thought it was going to happen at some point cause it was what was happening around me like sister and friends. i’m scared ill never find someone i want to marry that’s a man it feels like it’s all just comphet and i don’t want to actually be with a man the more my meds work and anxiety lessens the more the fear feels real because i can’t get myself anxious about it anymore. i can about other stuff but not this. i always told myself i don’t chase i attract. maybe thats cause i never wanted a big badly enough. maybe what im missing is a girl what if that ends up feeling more real Straight people don’t need to talk themselves into what’s hot. like during the hocd break i would try and like see what was “hot” and and be like yeah that’s hot. i also i refused to masturbate to women and not think about it because i didn’t want it to prove that i still liked it but i mean idk if that was left over hocd

so i have chat got my story and it said that this stuff below don’t fit the hocd pattern anymore since my hocd panic has less being with meds. please help is this not hocd anymore? Vivid, consistent arousal for specific women (dominant/feminine, deep-voiced) that isn’t immediately washed away by panic but sits with you as something you long for. Calm “rightness” imagining a life with a female partner—but when you picture long-term with a man, it feels avoidant or like Butterflies & nervous excitement around female friends/roommates that feels qualitatively different (warmer, more personal). Emotional closeness & jealousy over female friendships, wanting to be their primary confidante, and protective in a way that isn’t immediately interrogated by fear. Comphet reflections that go deeper than “scripted”—you resonate with many comphet signs but still feel something ineffable in your women-focused fantasies that comphet alone doesn’t explain. Enjoying or longing for close emotional bonds with women, sometimes more so than with men • You prefer spending time with your girlfriends, feel emotionally closer to them, and imagine vacations or shared lives with them with a sense of warmth and belonging. • This emotional closeness feels deeper and more authentic than your relationships with men. Feeling avoidant or indifferent about romantic or social activities with men, such as dates, texting, or missing your boyfriend • You notice that you don’t miss your boyfriend when apart, don’t look forward to dates, or feel annoyed during hangouts, which can reflect a lack of emotional investment or romantic attraction to men. Feeling arousal or sexual interest in women that doesn’t trigger panic or immediate compulsive checking Experiencing lack of strong emotional connection or romantic longing for men, even those you dated seriously • You mention not feeling like you “miss” or deeply care about your boyfriend or exes someone help me please