Has ocd ever made any of you feel delusional at one point?

What did you do I am so beyond scared at the moment

Same here

@BigGip09 Right now I have really bad existential ocd and I’m in this delusion where it feels like I might be somewhere in soace and what if aliens are mimicing my life for me in my head it’s ridiculous I know but I’m waiting in therapy and NOCD is taking forever on therapy to the max idk what to do I feel like I’m losing my mind and this all happened after my depersonalization episode on Thursday

@Ell I just have real bad real event and sexual OCD mostly about the past

@BigGip09 I used to have that and I would give anything to have that back

@Ell No. You don't want this. You think you do but you really don't. It's the worst when it comes to things you've actually done in the past. All I do is fear that I'm a criminal or an evil person for what I did.m even though I feel like I can still change

@BigGip09 Please dont stress to much about it because thats what caused my depersonalization and why this is my theme right now. My body got so over stressed about my real event that I depersonalized.

@Ell I'm really trying not to. I'm trying to just get my breathing back. What's depersonalization?

@BigGip09 Dont look it up and dont ask dont even get curious about it okay. Just know its not a good thing to feel and it happens when your stress in your body gets really bad

@BigGip09 Just know you dont have it and dont look it up please resist it

@Ell Well I'm already not feeling good so I don't know if I have it or not or if not knowing helps. But I'm sorry that you go through it

@Ell Okay I won't look it up

@BigGip09 The fact that you feel guilty and are ruminating shows you dont have it youre okay believe me

@Ell I still feel like an evil person or a criminal

@BigGip09 What makes you feel that way exactly whats going on

@Ell Ever since I've quit porn and masturbating my OCD has just been fixated on everything in the past. It's always centered around things that involve sexual activities, porn, and all the videos I remember. The taboo videos, the categories, what it turned me into, how much it makes me worry, and how hopeless I feel. I just can't stop being teary eyed or sad at the thought of being a criminal or an evil person or a Deviant or an offender. I've been dedicated to not watching any of that stuff or doing anything towards it. I just don't know what to beleve

@BigGip09 Sounds like you have a hard time separating fantasy from reality. If it's pornstars acting and your not watching people being abused and you wouldn't act on those fantasies to harm others I wouldn't worry about it. People are into all sorts of strange things. I once new a guy who couldn't engage with his girlfriend unless she was dominant so don't feel bad. As long as your of legal age to watch and it's not illegal what your watching then don't stress. If you start to feel it's controlling your physical world where you find that you can't seperate fantasy from reality and you start to feel acting on the fantasy is something you may do I suggest you reach out to a mental health professional. Porn in my opinion is very unhealthy like a drug and my suggestion is to steer clear of it. Make it your daily challenge to avoid watching it and reward yourself with a different stimulant a much more healthy stimulant at the end of each day you don't watch. Find a healthy hobby and focus your OCD elsewhere. As much as OCD feels like a curse it can feel like a gift to when you turn it into something positively productive.

@Ell I feel like I died multiple times and I'm in different dimensions. I actually remember someone killing me. I have a whole theory as to why and how it happens. I don't know what to believe myself and the most frightening part is others have experienced what I brought with me into this dimension. They didn't believe me I til they witnessed what I have been seeing following me.

@Boredomsux If by fantasy you mean the past in contrast to the present, then absolutely. I have a horrible time trying to stay in the present. Also, it's not that obvious. The sites themselves don't disclose this kind of thing and it's only clear with a stupid blue check. I get false memories of the videos I watch. I always question the fairness of the videos and it makes me go in circles. I'm not gonna act like porn didn't induce kinks into me because it did but those kinks are all pretty much gone and I'm glad they are. And no I don't plan to act out any fantasies that involve hurting people. Not even a little bit. What fun would that be? What fun would it be to hurt somebody in ways they wouldn't be comfortable at all. Of legal age to watch it. Well, like many many others who know about porn including myself, they've been exposed to it at very young ages. Tween level basically. I stress all the time but honestly I'm trying to cut down on it and tell myself that I'm not a bad person for not only being hooked but for trying to quit. Porn along with masturbation are things I feel are destroying my perspective on women, my emotional health, my mental health, and my relationships with my family and friends. I feel heavy amounts of guilt and shame by just thinking about it. This isn't just a daily challenge for me to not watch it. It's a goal. It's a mission. It's pretty much something I'm trying to do to get my real life back. To get back how I was before all of this because porn definitely came in and ruined it. If not my entire life, definitely my adolescence. And I strongly, extremely, heavily agree with you that porn is unhealthy. It's designed to make people addicted. I don't see it as safe. It's harmful. It fucks with people's perspectives on things. I also agree with that last part on OCD trying to make it into something positive. With these mistakes, I can see that I can learn from them and I can get away from these things as a whole.

Are you doing exposure response therapy?

@Ell No just talk but I'm looking into other things. Also started luvox recently

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@Boredomsux im saying i feel delusional because of ocd right now