- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve read a book on OCD , and you know that the chance is quite small . I was reading a book by Jonathan Grayson , and he was like certainty is a feeling and an illusion for everyone . I might become a pedophile. I might be a murderer . We kight be living in a false reality . This applies to everyone doesn’t it , we don’t know for sure . We have to accept That uncertainty exists and move on with life. It was harder for me because I have these exact themes . But maybe gives you an ambiguity , a feeling you don’t have to figure it out .
- Date posted
- 4y
it just seems wrong in my opinion. like in my case “maybe you’re bi, maybe you aren’t” would work but i think CBT would be a lot better for these types of themes considering CBT is emotion based and figuring out how to manage and identify overwhelming thoughts and challenge them.
- Date posted
- 4y
it can be really scary i know, but over time it gets easier and you realize that it's not so much you agreeing with if you'll hurt someone or not but rather letting that thought flow and knowing that you won't act on it. the fact that it disturbs you means you won't act on it. i saw something once that said "if the intrusive thoughts upset you that's good, if they don't then there's a problem." obviously it's easier said then done to just let the thought flow but over time it gets easier because you realize you cant control your thoughts and you aren't your thoughts at all. however i have heard some good feedback from CBT, so maybe try getting a therapist or psychiatrist in your area (or online) to do CBT with you and see how it goes.
- Date posted
- 4y
But over time those thoughts shouldn’t upset you as they once did right? We learn a new relationship to our thoughts as we progress.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Dre83 yes exactly!! i just meant that you obviously know they're wrong but over time when the thoughts come in they don't upset you as much because you know your values (hopefully this makes sense - i worded it kinda weird the first time).
- Date posted
- 4y
@coucou Yeah I was like fuck lol i totally wish they didn’t pop up but they do unfortunately and I just try to move one as best I can.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Dre83 ya same lmao, but i just try to remember that i cant control my thoughts and the thoughts are the exact opposite of our values
- Date posted
- 4y
@coucou Yeah for real. It’s like I need some sort of anxiety to know that I don’t like these thoughts even if it’s minimal. It’s my personal checking device against the ocd lol
- Date posted
- 4y
I have lived with OCD for 20 years with different themes. I will tell you that there is no difference when it comes to uncertainty and different kind of thoughts. All of us have the worst case scenarios. I cant agree with you that the maybe, maybe not dont fit to some themes. My hardest one is contamination OCD, I believe I will kill someone with poison, its in no way an easy one. Dont compare themes. The treatment is the same.
- Date posted
- 4y
i wasn’t trying to compare themes, i was just simply empathizing.
- Date posted
- 4y
@holley Ok👍
- Date posted
- 4y
I find it hard with ROCD too since there are naturally genuine fears in relationships too and how our feelings can effect the relationship. I'm starting my erp here tomorrow and I'm filled with dread. I find this hard because when I say things like that and they say acceptance therapy too I just accept the thoughts as real. People say just let them flow thru you and not about accepting them as real but not reacting to them or letting them be there without performing compulsions and honestly this is where I get stuck. I know if I do thing like this I genuinely accept it as real so I'm filled with dread. I'm doing this whilst on a waiting list for a free therapist who does Ocd with cbt and something else
- Date posted
- 4y
This treatment seem scary to me because mine is if I don’t do everything right something bad will happen to my baby so how do I do the thing I think is going to hurt my baby
- Date posted
- 4y
I totally see what you mean. It gets me furious at times. It's like how?! But I've come to a few conclusion though through years of self-loathe and even wanting to end my life over these horrifying themes: at the end of the day, what you value is what matters (and your everyday life, think of your life before OCD). Nobody should be tormented and deprived of living over something they may or may not have/be that at the end of day, true or not, wouldn't be something they choose/can change. This is something I would have *not* grasped at the peak of my OCD and earlier in my journey. This experience changes your philosophy as a person. Life is way too short. You experience thoughts of these "but I may be this" for years and in these whole years what has truly affected you is not being/doing these thoughts but *the* worrying about them. Otherwise, the theme has no effect in your reality and day to day life. You know?
Related posts
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 21w
I was just thinking about how OCD tries to be tricky and switches themes on us!! The amount of times I have said to myself in the past, IF ONLY I HAD THE OLDER THEME I USE TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE THIS NEW ONE IS SO MUCH WORSE!!! Has anyone ever experienced this before? Once I started ERP therapy, I began to really start understanding what mental/physical compulsions I was doing to really keep my OCD alive! While I did this, I would also tap into my self-compassion bucket, even when it felt like it was dry at times, because it was SO easy to judge myself for because of the sheer presence of my thoughts. I would also have the most self-compassion for myself for those taboo intrusive thoughts that really felt so strong, ego-dystonic and real!!! My OCD would hop around from theme to theme and just when I thought I figured it out (compulsion) it would hop again and make me discouraged! I noticed for me that once I really understood my compulsions, it didn't matter when the theme switched as I could tackle it at its core. If I was able to stay steadfast and resist compulsions the best I could, I started to notice that my CONFIDENCE increased in the long run! I also noticed that some of the core fears were the same for different OCD subtypes. OCD treatment is hard BUT living with OCD is harder. I have experienced subtypes including Harm OCD, ROCD, Moral Scrupulosity, Sensorimotor, Contamination, Perfectionism/Just Right, Hit and Run, Magical Thinking, Real Event/False Memory. ERP therapy allowed me to really work on stopping these compulsions and switching from theme to theme. I was fed up with what OCD took from me and I needed to do something about it. I talked to an ERP therapist and it was one of the best decisions of my life. If you are struggling, keep pushing and get the help you deserve!! You got this!!!
- Date posted
- 16w
Hey everyone. Just watched a YouTube clip from NOCD and it became clear that ERP appears to be best when your ocd is centered around a theme. Ie germs etc. one thing, not many things The struggle with pure O is that it’s not just one thing, it can be ALL things Is there hope for pure O with ERP ? Love to hear the group’s thoughts
- Date posted
- 13w
I had just posted a summary of ERP for a group member, and I thought it might be useful for everybody. Here it is below (with a little extra added)…. ERP therapy is researched-based. Most other therapies don’t work. There have been people who have been literally stuck in their houses (from their OCD) who gained their lives back through ERP therapy. NOCD does ERP therapy exclusively. You can find it in other places too, but you have to ask around. There are two tenants of ERP therapy: The first one has to do with the repetitive thoughts inside our heads. These thoughts are actually defined as “obsessions”. You are not supposed to do anything with the obsessions. You are supposed to let them run through your head freely, without trying to fix them or stop them. Imagine a tree planted by a river. The leaves fall off and float down the river. You can see the leaves falling, but you don’t try to stop them or pick them up. You don’t try to fix them. You just let them float away. This is really important to do with your obsessive thoughts. The more you try to fight them off, the worse they get. I used to have blasphemous sentences running in my head 24/7. I felt like I had to put a “not” next to each sentence in order to “fix” it. But this just took hours of my time every day, and it was very scary, because I was worried that if I messed up, that I would go to hell. It was very freeing to learn later that I could just let those sentences run freely through my head without trying to fix them. The second part of ERP therapy is all about “denying your compulsions.” Every time OCD tells you that if you don’t do things a certain way that something really bad will happen, that is a compulsion. Once you recognize what your compulsions are, ERP therapy will have you practice stopping doing all of those things. For some people, that will mean stopping washing their hands or touching lights switches or, in my case, putting “fixing” words in their head. Compulsions are safety behaviors. During ERP therapy, you will practice stopping engaging with safety behaviors. All this is very hard to do and scary, so during therapy you will be given tools to help you deal with the fear. Often ERP therapy will take people from being non-functional to functional. I highly recommend it. ————————————————- PITFALL #1: After you have been doing ERP for a while and become somewhat successful, the OCD will try subtle little tricks to bring you down again. The first one is to tell you that your thoughts are REAL and not OCD, and therefore you can’t apply ERP therapy. Don’t fall for this trick! All thoughts are just thoughts. They are all meaningless. Don’t try to figure out what is real and what is OCD. Just treat all thoughts with ERP therapy. PITFALL #2: The second pitfall is that OCD will tell you that you can’t move forward unless you have absolute certainty that you will be safe. Hate to tell you this, folks, but there is no certainty in life. You will never know for SURE that you or your loved ones will be “safe” from the OCD rules. Therefore, you have to move forward in the uncertainty. It’s hard, but it gets easier with time and practice. We got this, guys !!!!!!
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