Possible TW? Does anyone else with POCD see/read things like "You know you're not a pedo because it disgusts you" and wonder am I disgusted enough? or "pedos feel distressed at their thoughts" and think I'm distressed about these thoughts too? Or see people say "pedos are distressed that they won't be accepted and have normal lives" and think oh my god, I'm scared I won't have a normal life? It seems like anything people say that is meant to make me feel better or convince myself I'm not a pedo is only twisted around in my head so I'm even more convinced I'm awful and that all of these things are evidence of that

Keep seeing her. She could provide other insights to it. Also understand that you will not have 100% certainty that you could not become a pedophile or have the technical ability to manifest that desire. The bottom line is you could. But that is such a gargantuan far cry from becoming or even liking the idea of being a non acting one. The constant questions and maybes but what if and possibly but I don’t think so by then why that and if I don’t know!!!!??!? It’s all Bollocks chick! Even if it is all possible. Technically. I use the porn addiction example quite often. Guys who are straight found themselves getting more arouseed by gay and grabs porn than normal. It’s not their desires but the addiction system has hijacked the rest of the system and sent it off down another road so to get a physical arousal they need a sexual ‘hit’. OCD and addiction share many properties. Some of these guys have, from what I have read, even gone underground to download child pornography it has got that bad. They are not pedophiles - although what they have done is truly abhorrent and deserves serious punishment as it supports sexual abuse of minors - it’s still not an orientation. Your mind is not itself right now, but you have to do the work. What you think is making you better (reassurance seeking) is making you worse. Resisting the impulse and REALLY FREAKING OUT WHILE YOU DO IT.........will make you better. And you won’t think it will. Your fears will increase. Your thoughts will increase, you possibly but not maybe groinals will increase. And then eventually, it will tame. This takes a leap of faith driven by the choice to decide to trust that your brain knows what it is doing and if you just stay the hell out of its way, it will find it’s own way back. Letting go is very scary, even though no work is involved. But letting go is the only way to win. Which is, to give this pointless war the finger. You know this T. At some point, you need to find the courage. I’ll leave you with a quote from dr Jon hershfield: ‘ERP is actually harder than you think! But you are stronger than you know’

Yes I have EXACTLY the same thoughts!!!

Thanks for replying guys, I'm sorry that you struggle with this too but it's so nice to know I'm not alone ?

It’s really common for people with ocd to think they’re not disgusted enough or not anxious enough. It’s just another way ocd tries to make you doubt yourself

I’m experiencing this but with HOCD . I feel like every time I have a similar symptom or can relate my mind/feelings make me think the opposite.

I relate to this too with HOCD, it’s scary because any initial feeling of relief can be completely manipulated by your ocd within seconds and therefore leads to you further believing your fears and thoughts. I find myself constantly trying find evidence or reassurance but it just leads to further problems. Have you seeked help from anyone? Like a therapist?

@Belll I was seeing a therapist from my university which helped a little, but also it felt like she was telling me things I had already read and heard about. There are no ocd specialists in my state and I couldn't really afford to get one either :/ I was only able to see my university therapist because it was free for students

Thank you Soniclen. You are the voice of reason and encouragement

I worry about this too and wonder if I desire / find pleasure in the thoughts