ealvs11
- Date posted
- 4y
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I honestly started to notice that too and it scared me so much cause I felt like I really was going gay. But it's just ocd. It causes anxiety about it and you're constantly checking yourself to see if you're gay or not and you won't be able to feel sexual attraction at the same time as having anxiety. I even tried watching porn and stuff and I couldn't even get hard and scared me so much. But I sort of just accepted that it was ocd and tried my hardest to not stress about it and it slowly got better. I also started nofap a while ago cause I feel porn really negatively affects you especially if you have HOCD cause you start to question everything and wonder if you actually did it because of the guys and not the girls, etc. I still struggle with hocd a little bit and sometimes a little bit of loss of libido but it's definitely better than what it was before cause I felt like I had completely lost attraction to girls when I first had hocd.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
Just try your hardest to have the thoughts and not think about them at all. Don't start to wonder about being gay or not because it NEVER ends lol. I know it's hard but try your hardest to continue doing things you've enjoyed. When I had it badly, i was laying in bed all day paralyzed and it was so painful. You just have to accept that they're just thoughts and mean nothing more. Cold showers help a lot to calm down and get back to your senses, also get busy doing things like watch movies you know will pump you up, hang with friends, etc. You will notice that the intrusive thoughts about being gay, the gay sexual images, and even the compulsions of checking if you did something gay, will all start to slowly fade and become less frequent.
ealvs11ealvs11
- Date posted
- 4y
I appreciate the advice, it’s been really tough lately and I will continue to do what I love to do. I’m at the point where the thoughts are no longer causing me anxiety but it’s making me question if it’s because I’ve accepted them to be true and fear that later on I’ll realize that I’ve been gay all along
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah don't worry at all cause the exact same thing happened to me. At first I had anxiety so bad 24/7 for a few days. And one day I didnt have anxiety and I didn't feel like crying anymore and it scared me so much cause I felt like my mind was accepting that I was gay lol. And yes I felt so alone. I felt like I couldn't even hang out with my friends anymore because I feel like im different.. or like I'm actually gay but I'm pretending not to be and using them as a cover up. I failed a test in college because all I could think about was the thought about being gay and I REALLLY didn't want to be. Sometimes I calm down and realize that I'm not gay and I know it's just ocd. But other times I felt like I was in denial the whole time, and that I was just using ocd as a cover up and I even questioned if I ever did like girls or I've secretly been gay the whole time. It really made me feel so horrible I had never felt like this before and it's the type of pain that I dont wish on anybody. But I just want to tell you that I've been there and it really feels like you are what you fear. Ocd is SO damn convincing I even felt like I wanted to be gay at one point. But keep pushing through bro, it's such a hard lonely path especially because this is such an embarrassing topic (at least for me) you can't really talk about it with anyone such as your friends. But you will get through this and you will be even better than you were before you had this disorder.
ealvs11ealvs11
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous Thank you so much for sharing that, I know it can be tough but it lets me know that I’m not alone because I’ve experience every one of those things you have as well. I know I’ll make it out of this but it’s just gotten tough lately
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