- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Your not a bad mom. I deal with the same thing. I suffer from POCD. Im a father of 3 boys. Im just getting started with using this app. What makes you a good mom is you care enough about your mental health to be on here. We are here for you
- Date posted
- 4y
Just curious are you seeing a therapist? I’m currently looking for one
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous12 Yes I found a great therapist through this app. My insurance doesn’t cover it but you can break it into payments. Im here for you if I can help also
- Date posted
- 4y
@IowaOCD Awesome! I’m looking for a therapist but I’m scared that because I have POCD my child can be taken from me
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous12 I had the same fear. Face the fear and find a therapist on here. Its one of the scariest things you will do but one of the most rewarding. You are bot a bad person and especially not a bad parent. Your ocd attacks what u love most.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ilovefinnickodair Let me ask if Im able to shsre who it is. I dont know the rules on that
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- 4y
@IowaOCD Thank you so much I am going to look for one I’m tired of feeling this way when I know I’m a good mom
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- 4y
@IowaOCD Do you also suffer from false memory OCD?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous12 I have but its not consistently. I had one major episode but I got past that. If there’s one thing I’ve learned through all my therapy over the years it is the more that you acknowledge the thoughts and the more it tells your brain they’re important. Lately when I have intrusive thoughts I try not to put any importance on them. That’s help me out greatly
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- 4y
@IowaOCD Thank you so much I will keep that in mind!
- Date posted
- 4y
That sucks. Maybe think of it like an abusive & manipulative partner that you just broke up with. Know it will say and do anything to beat you down and keep you/ get you back, but tell it, “we are done. I am not listening to you anymore and I am not letting your lies control how I feel about myself.” It will keep on chatting , and keep trying for a while, but eventually it will get less and less until it gives up. Like a bad X, sometimes throughout life it will show up again, and try to wiggle its way back, especially if it sees you are going through a hard time, but every time you need to tell it, “ Nope! We are through! You have no power here! Move along!”
- Date posted
- 4y
I know exactly what you mean. It’s happens to me too about my niece. I would never in my entire life hurt anyone ever and I mean that with all my heart. I just want the thoughts to go away so badly but they get worse and worse. I know deep down with all my heart this isn’t me at all. I hope it gets better for you. You are definitely not a bad mom. Just keep being there for your daughter and never give up. You are not alone. Stay strong
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help
- Date posted
- 20w
My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest BIGGEST fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so so wanted in the moment and SO real. Which I don't understand. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support?
- Date posted
- 17w
*tmi warning* I'm so worried im a P. Ive been crying daily unable to do anything else but ruminate over my real events. When i was 14 (before ocd) i was watching adult content and it was censored. The woman had similar features like hair and skin color as my niece. I remember noticing that and saying "huh i guess I'll imagine that as the adult version of my niece" and I did and after i was finished i moved on and didnt think anything was wrong. I dont know if i ever thought about that again? Its so blurry ocd keeps saying i did it again in a different time but i dont remember its too blurry and its scaring me so badly! I didnt even remember this till like literally last week and i wanted to die! Im 20 for context. When I remembered i immediately broke down in tears. I vaguely rmemeber this other thought i had of her when self pleasuring when I was 16??? I think it was a testing thought out of distress? But im not sure at all! It was extremely vague image and unrealistic i dont think I liked it but maybe i did?! Im so distressed its like i remmeber 2 versions of this particular event which is why I think its ocd false memories from there. Ive been ruminating and spiraling for almost a week. I keep crying i havent ate well at all in days ive been honestly dehydrating myself and i cannot sleep. I feel like a monster. I did the mistake of researching last night and kept comparing myself to the "criteria" of those sickos and like I felt so distressed. I also have been asking ai for hours on end everyday. I feel so distressed im literally crying rn as i write this i cant calm down i feel like this sick individual even tho I dont even like thinking of that at all i dont think I meant ill intent when i was a teen but its killing me inside. I would NEVER harm anyone nor want to or plan to, deep down i know I would never act out in those evil ways but like whats killing me is what if im attracted?! Is this a sign?! Am i one of those people?! Am i attracted to my niece bc of those 2 maybe even 3(??)thoughts years ago?! Did i mean ill intent?! Am I an actual danger?! Am I a monster??? I have so many urges to confess to my mom im so scared what this all means or could mean. I feel so alone and scared. Like legit whenever i get intrusive thoughts about gross stuff i feel disgusted and anxious and push it away. Those thoughts do not bring me pleasure whatsoever but this real event is making me doubt my own identity 😔
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