I relapsed hard as hell today. Been on this app and ocd reddit as well as schizophrenic reddit asking for reassurance all day. I went like 21 days without these compulsions even though I was still mentally reassuring. It feels so real guys. What the hell is wrong with me.

Is there anywhere I could message you personally to talk? I understand if you don’t wanna!

@David R I’m with family today, otherwise I would! Go to ocd diaries and listen to fear of psychosis episode. That’s a good episode for this theme. Consider starting therapy again as well as medication. It helps manage the anxiety, which helps you do the work. Also, made of millions has a good article on this too. Trust the professionals and sites that offer truth instead of going to articles and sites that don’t offer solutions and/or fuel fears and provide triggers. Remember, anytime you say “feels like” is anxiety. People with psychosis don’t recognize it. It’s their reality. They don’t fear it, it’s their reality. They don’t worry about what they are thinking. That’s reassurance and doesn’t help you. But you need to know the facts.

@pammyy Thank you for your help! Hope you enjoy your day with family!

Thanks, it’s hard for I reckon because of what my thoughts are saying.

@David R One last thought: I used to have harm intrusive thoughts (and still occasionally do). I remember having one in ikea shopping with my husband “you should stab everyone here”. I literally almost laughed at how ridiculous the thought was - a. It’s not even possible and b. I don’t even kill spiders in my home - I let them out! Ocd attacks things that you value. My three themes have been harm, going crazy and being a “good person”. So, when I have a thought that is around any of these themes. I can do my best to NOT react. And even say, “ yep, I could or maybe.” It’s hard because it’s sooooo against your wishes, but it starvs the fear - starve the fear. Also, everyone has weird or “crazy” thoughts! Go out, do something active and get out of your head for a bit. The key is to accept anything the mind comes up with no matter how scary and not react. It takes lots of practice!

@pammyy So accept the thoughts that I’m a demon or possessed by the devil?

@David R I've had this theme as well after seeing a movie that scared the heck out of me. It's more common than you think (the theme) and falls into line with the fear of going crazy or being out of control. I'm not religious. I don't even believe in Heaven or Hell, yet I was still afraid of it! OCD attacks your fears. Don't power it up. The content of the thoughts is irrelevant. Thoughts aren't facts, no matter how many times you think them. On the NOCD YouTube page, Dr. McGrath recently posted a great video on living with uncertainty. Watch it!

@CB6236 You had thoughts of demons?

@David R After watching a scary movie about it...absolutley! It was a movie where it was the mom that was possessed. I have two little kids. My OCD took that opportunity and ran with it. I was like oh my heck what if that happens to me?? But honestly it's like everything else. You have the thought, you say maybe it'll happen, maybe it won't...and you move on. If you don't accept that uncertainty, you're paralyzed all day every day. Don't take it seriously, it's just a theme. Your OCD will always say to you what if what if what if. It's your job to say yep what if?? And keep living.

@CB6236 There's a book called Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts. I highly recommend it. After the first couple chapters, you will see that this is a common obsessive thought.

@CB6236 Just like every other intrusive thought...it means nothing about you. Your thoughts aren't you. Your ruminations are you. You have the power to stop that. You can't stop your thoughts. I know how scary and creepy and how much that theme can psych you out. Best of luck!

@CB6236 What was your experience like with that theme? I’m also an atheist but have irrational fears and awful intrusive thoughts about demonic stuff like “what if my wife is a demon” “what is Satan really does control the world/hollywood” etc etc.

Thanks friend, I truly hope you have a fabulous day!

@David R If you were really a demon or possessed you wouldn’t care. Lol!!

Thanks ❤️