Does anyone else ever have this fear that maybe they are gonna be stuck with this illness forever? I keep getting mixed answers so I never know if OCD really can go away or not and even though I'm doing alot better now with medication, I sometimes get really sad and start thinking that I'm always gonna be like this and that I don't want a life with OCD

So honestly the worst part of (what I think is) my OCD is the "groinal syndrome"... My intrusive thoughts were fading, but now all the doubt is creeping back in because of it. I know that I'm not what my thoughts try and persuade me I am. My whole identity is much more solid now than it was when I was at my worst. But at the same time, the anxiety is still there and the groinal response thing has started to come back recently... I try not to do anything compulsive but a lot of my compulsions are mental ones so I find myself doing them before I can even stop myself. Am I just going to be stuck with the anxiety & the physical manifestations forever?? Because even now, after I have learned about OCD, and after things started to get better, I am still experiencing it. I'm terrified to get a diagnosis too, in case they tell me it's not OCD or in case there's nothing they can do to help me :/ Ach I hate this all so much ?

How can I accept that I may need medication for the rest of my life? Some background: I have several family members with OCD, my paternal grandmother and one of my cousins on my dad's side. I had anxiety issues from really early on as a kid, particularly around health related stuff. I would clean little cuts frequently, small things like that. Other than that, I never felt majorly affected. That changed when I was 19, a few months after I gave birth to my son. I started having obsessions rooted in hypochondria, like that I might have some disease, or that myself and/or those I love would get some horrible illness and die. I was diagnosed and started taking Prozac at 21 years old. I'm now 27. Medication works incredibly well for me. I have no side effects, I function totally normal when medicated. But I've gone off medication like 5 or 6 times just to see if I'm finally okay, and without fail, I relapse (which is happening to me right now, and yes, I've restarted my meds.) My OCD thoughts don't want to accept this though, and I'm being thrown all kinds of thoughts like what if someday the world falls apart and I don't have access to medicine? Or what if I take it for years and years, just to someday find out that it gave me brain cancer or insertdiseasehere? Does anyone have any tips for accepting medication as a necessary part of my life?

Has anyone ever recovered from an OCD theme? Are we doomed to struggle with our themes our whole lives or will they go away? I could use a little hope.