when i go through these crisis moments of “realizing” i’m bi it freaks me out so bad and i just cry

i have borderline personality disorder so i’ve always struggled with that

what is derealisation???

i get that like how you described the connecting dots thing it’s genuinely like realizing your sexuality it makes me freak out

@holley Yeah it’s super scary, I am literally in the same position as you thinking I’m bi yet still experiencing the constant thought loophole so I’m just trying to focus on my work and if it happens it happens, we neeeeed to get our lives back!!

@mary65 it’s this constant loophole girl i can’t get out of it like i’ve accepted i’m not 100% straight and experimenting was making me overthink so i’m at the point where i accepted hey maybe i’ll be open to that one day and just accepted i am but then i read about how this girl thought her fantasies and stuff were just normal and they weren’t and it made me spiral like crazy

@holley Yeah, I also don’t think I’m 100% straight but I’m working on not putting a label on that nor looking for exactly what I may be bc we are literally not going to find it out by sitting in our rooms and constantly thinking about it. Also, we probably wouldn’t even find out what it exactly is by going and experimenting because 1. You’d be doing it to test your orientation out or 2. How would you know if whether you’re feeling is real or not if you have these constant thoughts! Maybe try not to read stuff for now just so that your thoughts don’t get triggered and focus on productive things, that’s what I’m doing:)

@mary65 thank you for that advice i think that’s great advice:) i feel like part of me is curious about it and part of me feels like i need to in a sense because i can’t sit here and tell you i know i would like that. i told my boyfriend that i’m open to that and we decided it would be better to have a threesome if i ever did want to because in case anything happened and i broke down or had a panic attack he’d be there i just don’t want to experiment alone i feel like that would be so dangerous and i love my relationship it’s just hard i feel like because i accepted it it means i’m bi

@holley I used to have be in a relationship and I felt the same way, like in a way I felt like if I’m gonna try with a girl I wanted my boyfriend there holding my hand (figure of speech) haha but at the same time it would be weird to try with a woman without your boyfriend. Have a threesome if you feel like it, if it’s just to test out the ocd, better not to! I also have friends that have had threesomes and they identify as straight.. threesomes are a bit more of a kink I think. I mean obviously if you’re having one with a woman involved it means you’re not 100% straight but it doesn’t have to mean you’re bi:)

@mary65 see and i’m fine with that like that doesn’t bother me that i’m not 100% straight but i just wanted to say thank you for being so understanding because a lot of people on here have been mean to me. but yeah it would be to experiment with a girl i don’t think right now is the best time to even think about doing that right now