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- 4y
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- 4y
Your not alone. I’ve been suffering from this awful theme for nearly a year now. Ik it can feel really isolating and terrifying ❤️
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- 4y
I believe that we have ocd because we care more than most do. We’re hypersensitive to the feelings of everyone around us. People without morals don’t obsess over their fears.
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- 4y
Hi I am suffering so much from this right now. I engaged in childhood sexual play when I was little and there was a big age gap now my ocd is convincing me I’m a molestor even though all the doctors say I’m not. Are you okay with sharing your story with me??
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- 4y
Hey, I’m in your position. I need help
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- 4y
@pocd sucks Would you like to chat about it ??
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- 4y
@Kimlovesdogs Yes I would.
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- 4y
@Kimlovesdogs Phone #?
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- 4y
@pocd sucks Do you have tumblr??
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- 4y
@Kimlovesdogs No:(
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- 4y
@pocd sucks Hi Kim, I got a tumblr. Would you mind chatting?
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- 4y
I too engaged in sexual play. It has definitely been something that has been brought up by me in my adult hood because it has bothered me. I was struggling in the beginning at the age of 17 I believe and it started with my brother popping in my head while I would play with myself sorry if that’s too much info. And then it bothered me that my other little brothers room was right across from mine so then ocd kicked in and I started over cleaning things and had this thought “well if/because he touched this item and I touched myself now that means I’m playing with myself because I’m attracted to him... so then I would force myself to think about a real scenario of when I did engage sexually with someone that I was not related to that I went to school with that I did enjoy... and this would go on at night when I’m laying in bed I would go through this process of forcing the thoughts away like three times because when I would play with myself it would make me tired so then I would pretty much pass out almost instantly.
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- 4y
Then my brother accused my dad of raping him and once I found that out I left the room I went back to washing the dishes and my mom came in talking to me and I couldn’t look at her and I just cried and then I left and went to a friends house and started opening up about what was going on with me. And I told her if I was to do something wrong why would people trust me with their kids? And I use to love the idea of having children. And as time went on eventually this problem got worse it felt more real, I started getting to a point where I felt like I didn’t love anyone anymore and I felt like I was gonna become a murderer or a pedophile and eventually I got groinal responses and now I pretty much deal with the thoughts and groinal responses everyday but I think I get through them pretty well.
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- 4y
Honestly I could go on hun about my experiences and things that has happened around me. But this is the sum of of it. I’ve dealt with many themes incest, pedophillia, harm, religious.
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- 4y
It got to a point that I even started questioning why this stuff people do is wrong
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- 4y
I couldn’t understand why god would create and allow something like that to exist
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- 4y
It bothers me cause I can’t remember how old I was or my little brother I think I was 11-13 and my little brother was 1-3 and I rolled around with him on my parents bed fully clothed and put his hands on my chest and pretended that’s what sex was and that I had a boyfriend. I don’t remember if his hand went into my shirt or if I encouraged anything. This has never bothered me until adulthood. I tried to take my life over it as my ocd tells me I’m a molestor who deserves to die. Please help and share your stories
Related posts
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- 24w
I feel like I’ll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. I’ll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. I’ll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. I’m just done, my life is over. I can’t even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like I’m so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That there’s some part of me that is a p*do and that’s it. I’m a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless
- Date posted
- 23w
I was scrolling on here and now I’m having a panic attack. Someone posted resources and one of them was a NOCD article and I thought that was so great. I clicked on it because I like learning about this disorder and I love NOCD’s resources. But I read that one of the compulsions for pocd is watching cp? I thought that wasn’t a thing with POCD. I literally cannot breathe because I feel like this thing is now possible and I cant calm down. That was the first time I’ve ever seen that stated as a compulsion. I feel like I’m dying. What triggered my spiral in the first place was months ago someone contacted me and told me they watched it but claimed OCD and I felt absolutely horrified. I deleted my account and removed that person entirely. I am freaking out so bad I really can’t seem to breathe right now
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- 22w
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
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