Has anyone with ROCD/relationship anxiety ever dabbled on the thought of, “do I like my partner or do I only like the idea of them?” I know this is definitely a new phase of mine that has probably branched off of my brain being rewired after 2-3 months with relationship anxiety and all the intrusive/obsessive thoughts, but it’s for sure bothering me and making me second guess my feelings for my partner again, so I’ve been compulsively researching for hours. But I know that I care so much for my partner and we’re so early, etc. I guess just to keep it short, is this a thought anyone else also feels?

Right! Sometimes I get anxious when I’m with my partner and I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been so wired in my brain and my body reacts to the anxiety. It’s crazy.

@Jewel I know this is a lot easier said than done, but I’m trying to focus on other things. If I think about my relationship too much, I start spiraling and doubting myself. I constantly have to remind myself to pay attention to how I feel when I’m with them, and then shift my focus onto other things. I’ve found hobbies really helpful in distracting me

@psherman42aus Yea, that’s true. I’ve been trying to do that, but always find myself dwelling on the thought and my feelings for my partner on whether I really like him or if it’s my anxiety overheightening again. My body starts reacting anxiously with the fast heart beats and the right throat... ugh, it’s exhausting.

@psherman42aus Oh so true! Do you do a lot of mental checking? Bc this is what really ruins things for me

Right! That’s exactly it, but I’m trying to like take a step back and remember nothing is wrong.

@Jewel I recommend you to try to not remember good moments when you didn't have doubts and all these feelings, because this is what I do to calm myself down but in the result it rather has affected me negatively

@Daria Alexandrovna Ooh, if you don’t mind me asking, how does it affect you negatively?

@Jewel so it's better to sit with the anxiety and not calm ourselves

@Jewel my response is lower 👇

@Jewel I also started to feel really strange while in my sleep. I think that it's just anxiety but feels like this 'doubty' feeling. I don't get it that often when I'm awake

@Daria Alexandrovna That’s literally me right now. I woke up 2, almost 3, hours ago with mad anxiety and I only slept for 4 hours.

Oooh that makes sense! Thank you for giving me a different perspective. In that case, do you just kind of continue to attempt to live in the moment?

@Jewel Yes, I am trying to cut off any sort of compulsions. I don't check the texts he sent me that often to see how I feel and etc. The hardest thing for me is to stop asking myself how I feel when we're together

@Jewel OCD is so sneaky. When I try to just live through all this and not pay attention, I have a feeling I will fall out of love.

@Daria Alexandrovna Yup, I totally feel that. That’s how I feel too. Like if I get too wrapped up in the moment, maybe I’ll get too comfortable and like fall out of love and only see my partner as a friend or something.

@Jewel Yes, sometimes feeling anxiety is comforting. And when I feel less of it, I'm scared I'm going to accept the thoughts and decide to break up, that's horrible