I saw some people here saying that they came out to but to their surprise there was no relief or anything. Now I really want to come out just to check if I feel relieved or not 😂

THIS ONE! It just didn't feel right for me.. i kept thinking "how do i know if im bisexual/lesbian/straight?"

@♧ The thing is I tried so many times to come out to myself. There were times that I was like "yeah im a lesbian", but it didn't make sense because I never ever thought about being with a woman. I also fear that I won't have a relationship with a man because I'm too idealistic about them, but like I don't want to give up my dreams just because of these thoughts. so i said to myself "yeah I'm bi" but even so, it didn't fit! Like if I see something that men do and I don't like, my mind would go "yup you're not straight" even if the man was a FREAKING MURDERER. like isn't normal that I won't freaking agree to what the man was doing?? but my mind would say "you didn't agree with the man, you're bisexual/lesbian". like what the actual f??

@♧ Omg I relate to that! I get so triggered by discussion online about toxic masculinity etc. because my ocd will always be like „see you don‘t like men, why would you even“ and I‘m like just shut up!!

@Heleni And I also wanted to add that coming out would be a compulsions for you I guess. I went through the same exact thing multiple times but it never felt right and it was just an attempt to make the thoughts go away and find certainty which doesn’t work! I tried to come out to my bf and literary cried that I didn’t want to be with women but I felt like I had to and he was like: that doesn’t my any sense, which I knew but still I couldn’t stop because that‘s how Ocd works. It doesn’t listend to logic.

@Heleni Yeah, i would always talk to my brother about how I think I'm a lesbian when I don't even want to be with a woman. He would just laugh because he thinks I'm so freaking dumb, while here I am bawling my eyes out.

@♧ I‘m sorry you‘re going through that, ocd is a nightmare. Maybe to give you some hope: I had some really good days last week and was able to enjoy myself and my relationship again. So even if it feels terrible atm, there will be better times. How we are feeling right now is not an indicator that it will be like this forever.

@Heleni I feel like I'm getting better day by day but as always, whenever you feel better you start to obsess over the fact if you really have OCD :( It's a constant cycle... but I have hope. Thank you for your advice.

@♧ Yeah I deal with that as well. When I feel better I get anxious about not being anxious and also I feel like I don’t know how to exist without ruminating constantly.