To whom this may concern, If had the balls I have now to have written to you, I would have said something alone these lines: I don’t owe you anything. Not my man, not my happiness, and certainly not my life. From the moment I meet him, you were always lurking in the shadows. I could feel you. Whenever I’d ask about his past sure he’s obviously mention you but it carries so much weight and that weight I decided to carry on my own shoulders. I know it was you who sent me those mean questions. I know it was you who wanted to throw me off and have me question his loyalty. I know it was you who resented me so much to the point of being petty you were willing to to look like the crazy ex. And guess what!! You got to me! Yes you did, for a really, really long time I was so fucking afraid of you. Any mention of his past, regardless of you, sent me spiraling and I thought that he was thinking about you and it terrified me. I wanted him, loved him, and needed him to focus on me so what I did was keep an eye out on you. Looking through each one of your social media’s daily. Looking for signs that my mind was right and that you two were still together like you were in my head!! Boy, oh boy did I really believe that and honestly I hated you for it. When you reached out to me, my heart sank. When you said all those mean things about him then told me how you cheated on him anyways, my heart fell. And I’ve held onto that, you know. I’ve held on to that same feeling I felt the day you actually looked me in the eye and I never let it go. I never let you go. It’s apparent that he had though. As much as my brain freaks out about the “what if’s,” my gut tells me he’s telling the truth and he was way over it before it was even said out loud. I’m not sure what the future stores for my partner and I. Of course, I want him in my life, I love him and I’ll say this: I know at one point you did, too. But I’m not just gonna give you, no, hand you away my happiness like that. Like I have for the past year. It was hard then because I had really strong resentment and fear for you but now I’m willing to forgive you even if I know you’re not sorry and let go of you even if the only reason why you stay is to see us fail. It’s okay. You keep doing that and watch how unhappy it makes you. I know it made me miserable. All I’m asking of this situation now is for it to just go and I’ll start by ending my contract to you here. I don’t owe you anything, in fact you don’t know me but were so entitled to tell me how pathetic I was for being with him when things didn’t go well for you. It’s okay. It’s life. I’m sure you’ve already moved on and found someone else and for that I wish you finally do look for what truly will make you happy. But I’m gonna let go of the idea that I can never be like you. I’m gonna let go of the idea that you have a hold of me or him. I’m gonna let go of the idea that you meant what you said because I’m not gonna carry this anymore. This is where it ends. It’s what I should have and wished I had told you. I’m only sorry to myself for hiding just how much fear and torment I had in my heart. I could say this all happened for a reason. It would sound poetic wouldn’t it? But I’m not going to. There’s plenty more of life ahead of me and I’m not gonna waste my time in thinking if I said sorry enough or made the right decision. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve always tried to do right by others. Now I gotta do right by me and I think this is a healthy start. So now whatever may or may not happen I know it won’t waiver my worth of happiness. It won’t determine my worth as a person. It will never be defined to what happiness I can/cannot bring to other people. Yours,