HELP ASAP!! When I was 7 I had a sleep over with my friend, I’m now 15, when he was sleeping I pulled down his pants a little bit to see what his butt looked like and I can’t remember but I might have touched the butt to se what it felt like. I then went to sleep, but I can’t remember if I touched the hurt I definitely pulled the pants down a bit to look but can’t remember if I touched. Does this mean I abused or assaulted him, or that I’m a bad person, or a sex predator, or even child predator for doing this once when I was 7. I feel so bad about it I can sleep and have lost all motivation, am I a bad person, am I a predator, or did I assault him? This is killing me am I a bad person or abuser please help??!!

But did that qualify as assault to you?

How does one do ERP for an event that actually happened?

@BigGip09 I am currently working on this, I feel like I told you before but maybe it was someone else. So for me my first one was to write a letter to that friend(we aren’t friends since a long time) apologizing (ripping it up after of course bc you should not contact them), my next step is going to be to record myself saying what happened and listen to it on loop. If I can’t manage that then I’m gonna record the letter and try that first. I don’t have any other ones yet as my therapist and I are coming up with the together. I need to do one for cancel culture regarding this as well.

@Anonymous No , as I told you before. Children are curious and do weird things and play weird games together. That doesn’t mean anything. My real event from elementary school is much worse than this. You can get past it with work and by stop seeking reassurance

@Justmesadly All sounds really interesting. I don't really know what's wrong with me at the moment but I just have a fear of doing something illegal, jail, and sexual things pretty much. So I really need a therapy or and kind of counseling to talk this out

@Justmesadly I feel like my high school events are much worse than this

@BigGip09 Yeah if you haven’t done anything that’s great bc you have no possible Consequences. But yes you should seek therapy if you have obsessions over doing those things

@Justmesadly I feel like my possible consequences come from sexting/online interactions when I was a minor and adult content over the last 8 years now that I mention it.

@BigGip09 There’s no consequences to sexting or being inappropriate online!

@Justmesadly Thank you I will try to work on it!

@Justmesadly Really? I used to do it a lot. I used to send and get back a lot of explicit pictures. I stopped doing stuff like that when I was 17. I get false memories over age sometimes. My mind just ruminates back and forth on my themes constantly

@BigGip09 Yeah you’re fine. Unless you’re an adult and stored the other person who was a minors photos and still have them or something

@BigGip09 Believe me my mind never shuts up. It’s only been a year and I want to be done

@Justmesadly How do you get over the shame of feeling like your a monster or that what you did means your a predator or something? I feel like I don’t deserve happiness or even life sometimes how do you get over that?

@Justmesadly No not at all. I don't want anything NSFW on my phone, in my life at this point to be honest. I don't have any use for things like that. It's just wrong

@Justmesadly Yeah I've been dealing with this and July 2020. It seriously never goes away. What are your themes?

@Anonymous I can’t answer this because I’m currently struggling with this. I feel like I’m the worst person in the world, I wish I could die because I don’t feel worthy of living, I feel like the reason so many bad things keep happening to me is because of this event. I’d love to tell you how to get over it but I don’t know myself. I am reading a book about guilt and shame to try and help me. And then I’ll read another one once I’m done.

@BigGip09 It won’t go away until we work hard and make it lessen. I have real event and hocd. They have been switching off since February 2020

@Justmesadly That book sounds like a really nice thing to have. I hope it's helping you in some way

@Justmesadly I guess that makes two of us when it comes to real event. My OCD also attacks anything sexual and there's occasional POCD. I don't like to include this as much because I genuinely don't feels any urge or negative thoughts on children in that sense that much. It's usually about past events. I guess the whole sexting thing makes sense, keeping pictures like that now would be really unethical, it would be even worse if someone were to post that online. That's full on revenge p***

@BigGip09 So far it’s been a bit triggering but I hope it helps. My therapist said she’s read it at least 5 times

@Justmesadly I think that's a really good idea. To schedule a time and place to read the book for however long you're comfortable with and then growing from that sounds really helpful. I wish I could do the same for ruminating

@BigGip09 I personally feel real event is the worse of mine because it’s something that actually happened. And yeah they like to switch around to attack what they can. Yes keeping pictures is not good if it’s from younger ages

@Justmesadly I don't like to keep inappropriate pictures like at all. I think that's what happened with that Carson guy. What he did with the girl wasn't bad but it was the fact that he kept those pictures in the long run which was shitty. I'm not sure it was something like that. Mine is based on stuff that really happened to. You wanna talk about it?

@BigGip09 I have no idea who or what you’re referring to but yeah not a smart idea. I’m not in need to talk about it but I’m hear to listen if you need to

@BigGip09 I had something like this before you’re not alone

@Justmesadly Carson is a YouTuber and he was under fire about this stuff, that's all. But yeah I don't keep anything like that I'm just past all of that. Definitely don't want to go back to it. But if there was nothing wrong with doing it at the time and nothing will happen now, then I think I'm okay with it all. Thanks

@Spike Thanks, Spike. You're still pretty young yourself, man. Still, you're better off not engaging in the whole thing any further. Not worth