Now I’m wondering if I even have ocd, in December when my theme of sexual-orientation ocd started I was doing so many compulsions, taking quizzes, googling coming out stories, comparing pictures of guys and girls, comparing straight and lesbian porn, ruminating about past and current relationships and friendships, ruminating about stupid things I did as a kid and even two years ago in my first year of high school. But I’m at a point now three months later where the anxiety is minimal and I don’t ruminate too much because I feel like my mind has gone crazy going through every possibility and I just don’t want to give in to those thoughts. My attraction to men is still low, i still find a bell going off in my head every time I see a pretty girl or something lgbtq+ related however my only compulsions right now are checking this app when I’m about to ruminate, occasionally going into Reddit and telling my grandma and friend about it. It’s subsided a lot which I’m grateful for but now that it’s still there I feel like I’ve given in somehow or like I truly am something other than straight but I hate that idea. I don’t want to like girls, don’t want to be intimate with one and I hate how sexualized they are in the media because it makes it hard to differentiate between arousal and genuine physical attraction but I still don’t want to be with one like that. I don’t know, anyone else feel like this ?