I know I am overthinking way too much focusing too much on my partners flaws.... 😞 my partner likes to stay inside most of the time and doesn’t like the idea of being around a lot of people. (Honestly who can blame him) but I get sad when I see my roommate and her husband go out to places.. I am doing WAY too much comparing. Honestly it didn’t bug me as much bc I like being indoors too or at least I think I do... I don’t like being around people being home is comfortable for me. My brain is coming up with more and more reason why I am not in love with my partner... 😞 I am starting to believe it.. I made love to my partner not too long ago and I felt off having all theses weird feelings.... then a couple days ago my body was under so much stress I puked 10 times. Also due to not eating healthy and taking melatonin all the time... then yesterday I had to go to the doctors bc of severe chest pains... throughout the whole time I’ve been dealing with this my partner has been with me every step of the way... he bought me medicine and even went with me to the doctors.... I cried telling him I don’t deserve him at all. He asked why and I said bc of how I’ve been feeling lately... I even talked to a specialist about an ROCD course and I asked her if it’s possible to be going through this without all the thoughts and anxiety. She said yes it is possible.. so that gave me hope. But her course is too expensive... 😞 so I can’t do it... when she first appeared I started crying explaining everything I could that I’ve been going through how deeply depressed I’ve been and how real this feels... 😞 I just don’t believe this is ROCD anymore....

It’s not just my sex drive... I feel like I am not attracted to him anymore....😞 I don’t want this to be true... I still call him names and smack his butt...

@Mandy7710 Stop looking for reasons to excuse your OCD, on whose side are you? Fight for yourself, stop trusting what your mind tells you. I know that it's hard but you're not the only one who has these feelings and thoughts and feels like it's true and not OCD. We all feel like that.

@Daria Alexandrovna My mind feels like it stopped telling me things... has ROCD ever EVER made you wanna stop having sex with your partner!? I feel like I stopped caring.... I use to love having sex with him... I don’t wanna end my relationship but I just doesn’t stop.... 😞

@Mandy7710 Sex drive goes down when you are living with anxiety.

@Daria Alexandrovna My friend told me... that you could still cry when you know you’re not in love anymore... 😞

@Daria Alexandrovna My obsessing has cause me to overthink too much... I’ve been dealing with this for years. But not once have I felt the way I do now... my friend told me you can cry even though you know you’re not in love anymore... 😞 but I’ve cried in her car saying I don’t want him to be my ex bf. I cry everyday over a man I believe to not be in love with... 😞 I know there are people suffering like me..... I’ve known that bc I out of desperation try to find someone who knows what I’ve been going through... everyday... I’ve felt love once this month for my partner... 😞

@Mandy7710 but you have ocd lol.

@Mandy7710 love isn't something people feel everyday, especially when they're anxious about it and try to FIND that feeling.

@Daria Alexandrovna Then why am I so convinced it’s me?.... I was so close to having an ROCD therapist... but her sessions were too much... 😞

@Daria Alexandrovna Why is it when I talk to my about it over and over again I don’t cry but when I talk to someone about it I cry my eyes out!? 😞 I never wanted him to be my ex bf.... 😞

@Daria Alexandrovna The way I’ve been feeling is like our ten years together never happened! 😭

@Daria Alexandrovna I avoided sex for a long time to the point it made me believe I’m not in love with him anymore... Or attracted to him... 😢 I miss how I use to be with him! I feel like it won’t come back! 😞

I’ve watched almost all the videos.... I just took a shower with my partner and I had so many thoughts and feelings like I am okay with him being with someone else.. like I feel okay with them... 😞 I want to love him like before but even saying that I don’t believe myself....

@Mandy7710 That's how OCD works if all of that didn't feel real you wouldn't struggle and worry, we all feel like it's real.

@Daria Alexandrovna It’s feeling like I wanna be just friends with him... 😞 is break up the only way I am gonna find out if I truly love him!?...

@Mandy7710 No. It doesn't work like this lol.

@Mandy7710 You've been together for a long time and at this phase of the relationships it's more about friendship and trust and caring than infatuation and passion and constant 'in love' feeling