One year ago, I came across the concepts of ‘enlightenment’ or ‘awakening’ in Buddhism and since then my life has become horrible as I developed a very huge obsession with reading about what it means to be enlightened and feeling bad and scared about the fact that I am not enlightened and that I am not a good person if I don’t start deep meditation and be on the path to some kind of spiritual awakening that people talk about on the internet. I don’t know if anyone else has gone or is going through this.

Thankyou for your reply, my underlying fear is that i might be a bad person or there is something wrong with the world and i feel scared to be part of the problem. When i came across these new age spiritual communities who talk about “awakening to your true nature”. Let go of your ego, ego is evil, i started to feel that now i need to compulsively meditate otherwise i will be selfish and be a bad person. Been going through this for an year. Sometimes these people in these communities appear to be mentally ill themselves because of the way they talk about these things. But then i am not sure as i feel what if they are right?

@Dashing97 That’s really good that you’re able to recognize the fear! I’m sorry you’re going through that, I’ve definitely experienced that kind of new-age community, myself, and I can see how that would arise. One thing I really want to emphasize is your last sentence, it seems like your OCD is asking that question, looking for certainty. I mean, ultimately only you can determine whether thats your OCD or an actual concern (though I’d bet good money that it’s the former[especially if you’re fearing it, and doing compulsions *just in case*]). Being able to recognize when my OCD is trying to scare me or look for reassurance has been massively helpful(though I admit when I’m more anxious I often forget to do this)- so I’d just really recommend looking out for intrusive thoughts and concerns, and trying to see if they’re either a) looking for reassurance or b) fit in with your underlying fear, and working from there. I’ve found that naming my thoughts, like they’re a person talking to me, rather than my own thoughts, has been tremendously helpful, also- for instance, mine is named Alex, and with all the things he tries to scare me with, it’s like he’s a big conspiracy theorist, and I know he’s just trying to scare me- but I can say “thank you for that thought, Alex, but I’m not going to engage in that” Or “shut up, Alex, stop trying to scare me” more often haha. I wish I could be more of help, but hopefully this gives you a few things to consider. You’re strong, you’ve survived everything you’ve been through so far, and I know you can overcome this as well ❤️💪

@Just.a.bean Thankyou so much for the support. Yes i have survived a lot as i have had OCD since childhood with many points in life when i almost lost my mind. I have grown a lot through these experiences. Your idea of creating a person out of OCD thoughts is really cool. I am gonna try it out. Labelling thoughts might be of great help. Thankyou ❤️

Did you also go through this? Please tell me how you recovered?

@Dashing97 I sought help from the NHS and presented to my GP that I was suicidal due to the obsessive thoughts, and that this was Existential OCD. My GP didn't have any clue what I was on about but he did thankfuly put me on the waiting list for NHS. I have been in CBT therapy for my ocd for over one year now (I had to ask for this in my first meeting with my therapist). And I'm slowly getting better. But I am still very entrenched with OCD. I wonder, have you looked up moral ocd? Because all my religious ocd comes from a root fear that I am a bad person. Which moral ocd really is! YouTube search : International OCD Foundation Moral OCD Town Hall. And give that a watch! I wonder if you will resonate with any of it? 🤔😊 There is hope!! Things can change!!

@ButterflyStar Okayy i will look up for moral OCD. I hope you can get better. OCD is like the worst illness and i have it since childhood. This new age spirituality bullshit has really had a toll on me. There are communities on Reddit and Quora where people are discussing about how to get enlightened and then there are these Gurus like Osho or modern day spiritualists like Sam Harris who discuss about how to get an awakening. Sometimes i feel whether these people are the ones who are sick.

@Dashing97 I'm so sorry, I know what you're going thru sooo much. Its like you can't get away from it at any part of the day. When you eat, the thoughts are there. When you watch TV, the thoughts are there. When you're with people and they are talking the thoughts still come up!! It's OCD and it's so horrible. BUT you can get sooooo much better 🙏🙏😊😊. Yes I would agree they are the ones who have got it all wrong. All Of it amounts to nothing. They are searching for the key to life in empty wells.

@ButterflyStar Yes i totally agree with you. I was just wondering whether you also have the same obsession as me about enlightenment, awakening etc.

@Dashing97 Yes I did. Jesus saved me and showed me the deception of those teaching. I would really be so torn between 'But what if they ARE right?'.. It took some months but thru God's love and patience He showed me the truth.

@ButterflyStar I am glad you could feel better

@Dashing97 Thank you. I mean I still struggle with my OCD every day, I have it very severly. Mine is around moral topics.. Such as offending people, am I doing th RIGHT thing in any given situation. Am I spending my time thr RIGHT way every day.. 😔..

@ButterflyStar I also have a lot of what you have, but dont worry God is not so judgemental and he loves us unconditionally. You don’t need to be perfect to get his love. ❤️

@Dashing97 Thank you so much!!