I feel extremely deflated and hopeless. My entire life, up until covid, I have been happy, & a mentally healthy person. I’m currently 16, and turn 17 very soon. Ever since I was roughly 14 (and well before developing OCD) I’ve wanted to pursue a career in psychology. As I’ve grown and researched degrees and various careers in psychology, I’ve decided that (at this time) working up to a career in clinical psychology is what I really want to do. Recently, I’ve been doing extensive research into the pathway you have to take to become a clinical psychologist, hearing from people who are trainee clinical psychologists, etc, etc. I live in the UK, and here, you do 2 years of ‘A levels’ before you go to university. I currently study psychology, and I have excelled in the subject, actually surpassing everyone else in my faculty according to my teachers. This was a huge reinforcement for me to pursue this career at university. In the least boastful way, I’m pretty sure I’m a good student, and have achieved A* (A+ if you’re from elsewhere) so far in all of the subjects I take. Because of this, I felt even more empowered and confident in pursuing this career in clinical psych. As I said at the start, I have always been outgoing, happy & mentally healthy, a bit of a worrier - but that’s it. Then, covid hit and I developed health OCD that gradually forked into different themes that were considerably worse. So, now to the point of the post: I was watching a video of two trainee psychologists who were answering Q&A questions, and someone had asked whether they could pursue a career in psychology whilst having chronic and severe mental illness - my OCD can be bad at times, but is definitely not ‘severe’ in relation to the experiences of others and doesn’t intervene with my functioning, but is definitely a big issue for me - and it has been severe in the past. These trainee clinical psychologists had essentially said that ‘lived experience is a huge benefit’, BUT that ‘if it will intervene with the way you provide support for your patients that it is probably not the best option’ - this stunted me... what if this will be an issue for me? It’s important to remember that I’m only 16, and it takes many, many years to become a clinical psychologist and it’s absurd to assume that i’ll be in the same place I am now, then, all the way to then. But this trailed into me thinking that I’m not worthy and that I’ll never be in a place where I could support other people in a clinical setting. And then I started to think that the fact I’m doubting myself now is irrefutable evidence that I will never be okay enough to help people - which is my life goal. So, I feel very bad at the moment. Has anyone else had this secondary experience with OCD? I.e. feeling like you’re not good enough, etc. If you’ve read this far, thank you so much!

"Pure" OCD

kristyhs77

Date posted: 4y

Lilly, I’d like to argue that some types of mental illnesses would probably make it very difficult, like personality disorders because there is really no treatment for those or like any acute disorder where hallucinations or delusions are active. However, in my experience (as a therapist and someone with ongoing OCD of several forms) it is possible to be a great therapist and to do both helping of others and also shining a light on your own issues to work on by studying psychology and by working one on one with others who struggle in a way that you can help with. Maybe you wouldn’t work with people in an OCD specialist kind of way until after you have had success with ERP but remember there is no limit to what you can TRY to do. Be careful not to fall down those rabbit holes of believing your doubts. Recognize that buying into the doubts and allowing them to limit you is different than the thought and fear or not good enough. You are not your thoughts and your fear does not have to forever control you. You’re 16!! That’s great! Use it to your advantage and break the cycles now. Hope that helps. Reach out anytime.

Faye June

Date posted: 4y

Thank you so much for responding! I wasn’t expecting anyone to see this, and this was such good advice too. I definitely fell down a rabbit hole of believing doubts. I’m feeling a lot more optimistic today, and I had gotten into a rut of negative thinking last night - hence the post. I’ve neglected my OCD and mental health recently, getting distracted with school, friends’ dramas, my own dramas, etc. I’ve also felt fairly depressed and hopeless too for a variety of reasons (hormonal, etc). I’m not usually as pessimistic as I was in this post, but I’d hit a rock bottom after hearing this. I had gone through ERP for health OCD and sexual orientation OCD, both of which I was able to get rid of in 3 sessions and I don’t suffer with them anymore, my OCD is mild - and I think environmental stressors make it much, much worse, because I didn’t actually have OCD prior to the pandemic. I’m pretty extroverted so it hit me HARD. Sorry for ranting to you, but again, your advice was really good, so thank you so much! And yeah, I’m 16, I need to stop worrying about things sooo far in my future, haha. Wishing you well

kristyhs77

Date posted: 4y

So glad to hear you’re feeling better. I’m around so feel free to reach out anytime. You’re the same age as my nieces who struggle too. Take care of yourself.

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