Anyone went to backdoor spike stage without therapy? Like it has been like 4 months of my hocd and now I am feeling less anxious. But I didn't take any therapy . Yes I kissed my best friend but I still had the thoughts. Now I don't have that thoughts again. Have I accepted I am gay or is it really backdoor spike?

But UK the thought that I will never be able to like boys back (I am girl) makes me anxious too

And ya thank u I was worried about that.

@Hocdtrynaruinmylife So if you’re still worrying about your theme it’s probably not backdoor spike. Backdoor spike is when you’re not anxious and you’re worried you don’t have ocd or never had ocd and just made it up. That’s from my understanding. I could be very wrong

@Justmesadly No I don't remain anxious at all. Like this thought comes I won't be able to like guys but the thing it that I don't get anxious anymore

@Justmesadly That is wut is making me worried.

@Hocdtrynaruinmylife Oh okay yeah that’s just part of HOCD. I wouldn’t go around kissing the person of the sex that you’re worried about liking unless you actually want to kiss them. Like kissing your best friend . I’m not sure what that means exactly . But if my ocd told me to kiss my best friend I would be disgusted and just ignore the thought not even consider for a second of doing it

@Justmesadly Actually that was just a part of my ERP. I did just that just to confront my fear. She was the first one to do this. She was bi so ya she enjoyed it but I like felt nothing . The fact that when I watch TV shows I saw beautiful women and get anxious about liking them. But know I look at them , my brain again giving me thoughts that wut if I am attracted. But this time I didn't feel anything.

@Hocdtrynaruinmylife No no no. Erp doesn’t involve doing your fears. It involves imagining your fears. You don’t want to do your fears so doing them would not help you at all.

@Justmesadly Yes I guessed it coz it didn't help and as I mentioned in my question that if a person can have back door spike without therapy .

@Hocdtrynaruinmylife But yes the intrusive thoughts are much much much less than that excessive thoughts that I had all day. I couldn't concentrate etc.

I am doing erp therapy now a days and now I am not having any discomfort or stuff like that and I am remaining blank. I think its probably back door spike.

@Hocdtrynaruinmylife That’s great news!