Trigger warning !!! I’m just tired So from my previous posts about this thing that I feel isn’t pocd anymore or whatever im just tired I’ve tried to convince my self that it’s just thoughts but they are becoming more graphic and worse,different images are popping in my head and i do not want to think them .I try to think about NormaL attraction but for some reason kids pop up and it scares me .I’m 26 female and always wanted kids .but now not so much anymore ,when I see kids or kids are mentioned now I get like anxiety and Start to wonder I’m I attracted The feelings are feeling very real and the attraction are .I try to surprise them but I’m like maybe it is true I have never watched cp or desired an child ever and the very thought makes me sick or make me uncomfortable.I have masterbated To taboo Things in The past.I have been battling this for a month now it started after I was watching a show or a music video and it’s been heck every since the Intese anxiety isn’t There like before but I’m too The point where I’m feeling maybe I am just accept and I cannot Live like that. I try to avoid looking at kids or even thinking about having future kids it scare me I don’t know who I am.I don’t have money for a physicatrist.it’s to the point where I’m having dreams about kids and what not I read somewhere that your dreams are who you are deep Down ,everyday all day from sunup to sundown the thoughts are there

POCD

hope

Date posted: 4y

hey! i am a 20 year old female and suffer from the same thing, i am so sorry you’re struggling, this theme is the worst of them all personally because it’s so evil and dark it can take a huge toll on your mental state, the intrusive thoughts can be super super disturbing and horrible and it’s hard to deal with everyday, but my biggest tip is to let the thoughts pass on their own, they aren’t you, if they’re making you suffer and feel evil and make you anxious then you know you don’t want them. our OCD attaches to our biggest fears and makes us turn on ourselves, the more you avoid kids the worse the anxiety is going to be, unfortunately recovery will still be difficult and it comes with a lot of mental turmoil because you will still have intrusive thoughts during recovery and even after, but avoidance will only worsen the POCD, you know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt a child so keep holding onto that fact. also your dreams aren’t who you really are, when you sleep your brain is going to attach itself to things you always think about and because you suffer so much and think about your OCD all the time then your dreams will attach to it, keep holding on to the fact you love kids and know you would never hurt them and just let those intrusive thoughts pass because they aren’t you, ERP helps and makes such a difference too, i wish you all the best! you got this :)🤍

Karkaree

Date posted: 4y

Thank you so Much !for those encouraging words it just so hard to fight I felt like I’ve convinced my selfish I

hope

Date posted: 4y

@Karkaree OCD is the master at trying to convince you of lies so just keep holding on and being strong and keep reminding yourself it’s just OCD :)

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