i am quite prone to feeling envy which i hate. and there’s one girl in particular who i put on a pedestal and feel so ugly to in comparison. she obviously has flaws but i still see her as perfect and a million times better than me. and i hate this! i hate the way it makes me feel. i hate the resentment towards her it breeds in me. i love women and don’t wanna be angry towards them. but i literally don’t know how to not feel this way towards her. like i’m so envious of her it’s awful! she’s like a ‘queen bee’ at my school. and of course she’s very pretty, but there’s other girls equally as pretty as her who i don’t feel envious of. i don’t know why it’s always HER. does anyone else experience this or have any advice?

I experience this for sure. Idk if this is the right way to deal sigh it but I try to remember we’re all beautiful in our own way and there’s nobody in the world like us. I also remember that envy is not a bad feeling, it’s just showing me what I’m capable of.

‘comparison is the thief of joy’, Theodore Roosevelt... Look, this is completely normal (especially among girls). We look at other people and our perception of their lives, their looks, or even the way we think they feel can all contribute to feelings of jealousy and resentment - ‘why can’t I look like her?’ ‘why doesn’t everyone like me like they like her?’, these questions, or similar ones, may flash through your mind. But, as much as that person may have it good now, that doesn’t mean it’s gonna be that way forever. Our perceptions of others and the way we interpret them is usually an illusion - and we don’t realise that. You looking at her, and that feeling of inferiority (or whatever it may be) is lighting the fire of jealousy within you. Jealousy isn’t always bad, it can be a motivator (it definitely is for me), but when it gets bad - it gets bad. It can make you feel awful. People get chastised for jealousy, phrases like ‘well shes just jealous’ populate all media as a sign that someone is not worth anything - but jealousy is an awful feeling. I think having a harsh inner critic can fuel feelings of jealousy. Try being nicer to yourself (easier said than done, I know). Try speaking to yourself the way you would speak to a friend. And if you’re feeling unhappy with yourself, for whatever reason, do things that will make you feel better, be it working out, eating good, trying harder in school, expanding your friends - whatever. There are resolutions to these things. I wish you well! You are wonderful and full of potential - don’t compare yourself to an illusion.