Anyone else feel like there’s no hope left? Like with ROCD you don’t love them it’s just you’re having an unhealthy attachment rooted from childhood? Anyone else feel this way? :(

Thank you for replying! I’m worried if I do the work to heal trauma then I will figure out that it was all along just an unhealthy attatchement :(

@jmsinger It sounds like OCD really

@Daria Alexandrovna Thank you so much you’re so helpful! It never started until like the end of the “honeymoon” phase. I know I’m a naturally clingy person because I have childhood trauma but I do think OCD finds such stupid things to make us worry about so that we never heal.

@jmsinger Yes it does. I am also very clingy but at the same time I never will like I get enough love so I am never satisfied, and sometimes I would not feel good when I get plenty of love. I even like to be rejected sometimes. It's strange

@Daria Alexandrovna That’s how I feel. I feel like sometimes it’s never enough. To me, I was rejected as a child a lot so I feel like that’s why it feels “good” and “safe” to be rejected

@jmsinger Yes, it's true for me too. My father was cold to be, on purpose. And in my parents relationship my mother have him all her love and he was cruel and cold. That's why I liked having cold partners, I was madly 'in love' with them. Now, I am in Great and Really Healthy relationship, and it takes time to accommodate. To accept Iove and learn how to love being in this relationship, because it's like I only like being not loved. And then it's about my desire to control everything in a relationship so it's right for me and I am not mistaking. That's why my ROCD sparked.

@Daria Alexandrovna I don’t understand why ocd has to ruin everything. I feel like something good can come out of it. You learn to love yourself and your partner more deeply. But at the same time it ruins it

@jmsinger It's going to be alright. I have been really bad, thought that it's never coming bad. That I thought of too many bad things about our relationship, that I won't ever feel in love anymore with my boy. But then I got better and I felt love, I felt everything great. It's possible! Love isn't something that you can loose, actually. I struggle with understanding that. My ROCD also tells me All kinds of things, like has it ever been there and everything bad. But there's sun ahead of us. We need to work on it.

@Daria Alexandrovna coming back*

@Daria Alexandrovna How do you work on it?

@jmsinger I'm trying to separate my thoughts from OCD and trying to do a bunch of different activities that take my attention away from rocd

@Daria Alexandrovna I might try that! I am a super artistic person and I love to paint and it only works for a little while and then it comes crashing down

@jmsinger I used to compulsively draw for a little less than a week and I made 30 or more sketches ahah But the thoughts were still there But that's actually a great idea. When the anxiety isn't like 7-10 you can do your hobbies and stuff. But when mine gets that high I can no longer do anything without thinking

@Daria Alexandrovna I’m the same way. I seem to feel extremely disconnected and lack empathy now

@jmsinger ROCD can get extremely awful. I hope you know Awaken into Love channel

@Daria Alexandrovna YES!!! I love kiyomi! She taught me that love is a choice not a feeling. I’m honestly tired of a lot of older peoples philosophies that young people only experience infatuation and not love. People always tell me (since I’m still a teen) that I can’t love because I’m not old enough! How sad is it that people degrade others like this?!

@jmsinger Yeah, I have myself experienced pure infatuation and this madly in love feeling with a person I didn't like as identity, it was pure hormones. Now my life is not about hormones at all its about the person but my past with obsessive tendencies is like YOU NEED TO THINK OF HIM ALL THE TIME. DREAM OF HIM ALL THE TIME OR ELSE THIS CAN'T BE LOVE! It's tiring

@jmsinger my love *

@jmsinger Love can be whatever you want to see it like and you can't loose love to a person but you can grow it even if at the beginning it was subtle. But it's now what we hear and see often so it feels wrong

@Daria Alexandrovna So true. I wish people would open up their eyes and be awakened into different things and how everyone experiences love differently

@jmsinger Yes!! And we too.