Does anyone else have relationship ocd about everything their partner does? Like maybe if they talk too much you get annoyed and you think your not meant for each other? Or maybe after sex you feel down and then think it’s about your partner? Am I just crazy or does anyone else have thoughts like these. It never stops. Once I get over one, another one comes up. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with relationship ocd with erp?

This motivated me

I was doing that but now it just feels real like I lost love for her. This has happened before but it always comes back. It’s so weird. I just want to know how to pinpoint what I’m fearing. It’s like I can admit the thought but i don’t know it just doesn’t go away. Like I embrace it and stuff but when I do that it makes me more scared and make it’s feel more real I just don’t know what to do anymore.

@ocddestroyer Fear is fuel to the ocd. I’ve learned that you have to have a fuck it mentality. Maybe you don’t love her anymore or maybe it is ocd. Who knows but trying to pin point where the fear is coming from clearly hasn’t worked. Try a different approach. I was exactly where you are and I promise you that if you start to disregard all feelings it will go away. Tell yourself “I understand why this would scare me but I’m going to go about my day anyways without trying to figure it out”. You won’t feel love until you are free of the fight of flight mode. Your body is focus on survival so it would make sense for you to not be able to feel love. Hang in there man I know how hard it is but it does get better

@Keep Going I know your probably right man but fuck it scared me a lot. Have you had any professional help?

@ocddestroyer It's absolutely OK to feel the way you do

@ocddestroyer This person is right keep working

Yeah of course I’ll share what’s been working for me but I’m not an expert so I would definitely recommend seeing a specialist! I’ve just finished my therapy here on NOCD and I’m a completely different person. Okay so basically what I would recommend would be surrender to the thoughts. By surrender I mean not fighting them. If you get a thought of “maybe my partner is cheating on me”, instead of seeking reassurance from them or telling yourself “no they wouldn’t do that to me” Try your hardest to become comfortable with the possibility that all your fears could be true. The trick is to not react. If you react with fear to your thoughts then your brain thinks it’s doing a good job in keeping you safe when in reality it’s causing you anxiety and distress. By constantly exposing yourself to these fears and not reacting emotionally you are slowly training your brain that you are not in danger and that it can calm down. I used to have a similar fear but backwards. I used to be so scared that I didn’t love my fiancé and that I had cheated in the past and completely forgot about it. I would stay up all night trying to figure out if it was true or not until I adopted this technique. I would watch videos of people cheating on their partners on YouTube and at first I would be so stressed but now I disregard the fear. I told myself “if this is true and I did cheat then I’ll deal with the consequences when I have proof”. You can tell yourself the same thing. Maybe your partner does not love you, maybe he doesn’t find you attractive and maybe he is cheating on you but there’s no point in living in a constant state of fear because of a maybe. If he ever does cheat or does tell/show you he doesn’t love then that’s when you’ll deal with that. Until then try to live in the moment. OCD tends to force us to live in the past or the future and it really robs us from the beautiful memories we can create in the present. Meditation has really helped me with staying present. I also take ashwaganda which is a vitamin that helped lower stress and I’ve noticed a difference with that as well so I would recommend taking that as well. If I could help in any other way please let me know and I’ll try my hardest to do so. I wish you a beautiful day. Make sure you do something that you love today and make sure you’re drinking water :)

@Keep Going Thank you à lot ! My problem is also doubting my feelings, I try to become comfortable with this thought but it feels very miserable

@Keep Going Especially now, I am reading actually a great book, but when I see something like a phrase 'you need to do what you are afraid of the most or else you will feel that anxiety without end' I feel like I can explode with anxiety.

@Daria Alexandrovna I completely understand why that would be stressful. Keep reading it over and over without reacting. Eventually your brain will get bored and you won’t feel triggered by it anymore. Just keep training your brain and it will realize that there’s nothing to fear

@Keep Going How to not get afraid that no reaction doesn't mean that this is the truth?

That's really a success. It's going to lead you toward a happy relationship. I am going to practice the same thing

That’s amazing!! You should be proud of yourself. I know OCD can make us feel hopeless but we really do have to take it day by day and celebrate our victories, even if they are small. Make sure you’re constantly exposing yourself to your triggers and practice not responding! You got this

Thank you I really appreciate you helping me out. I love her so much and every time I conquer a though, another comes and it feels so much more real than the first. It’s a cycle that drives me into sadness so much. I just want to be happy and love without question. Just one day would be enough. This has been going on for years. I think I just need to find help at this point.

@ocddestroyer I feel you though I am not experiencing that for that long. It's very strange how my love still builds up and I love my partner more and more but at the same time OCD comes in and ruins me when I am weak. When I am alone, or stressed. Seeps into my brain and makes me ruminate on it. I feel really bad because I want certainty. But I know that I can feel love, I felt it, it was there...

CBT isn’t recommended because you can easily reassure yourself through that practice.