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mwhite1994

Date posted: 4y

Hi everyone I'm morgan I'm 26 I just noticed some OCD tendacies in 2017. I'm not 100% sure if it is OCD but I've been seeing a therepist for two months now and I'm about to get a phycatrist and hopefully be on the road of better lifestyle. I often think negative thoughts and they will circulate in my mind until I create a panic, I'll cry not eat or sleep due to the anxiety of these thoughts a few traumas brought these out because before 2017 I was a care free teen with nothing going on then mother hood came and I had to grow up fast forward to 2020 this pandemic has taken a toll on us all I'm sure but for my mental health ..it's gotten worse Here's a few of my thoughts that's pop up One time in 2017 I watched lesbian porn and thought omg I must be gay ? I started questioning everything in my life my character my family I would just have thoughts like " I'm gay your gay " in my head I finally set those free when I started not to care to put a label on it .. 2018 I got pregnant and lost my grandparents to a house fire the day my son was born ..I surpsingly dealt with everything well I was on sertaline 25 mg and learned to cope and move on with life. Fast forward to 2019 I was doing okay no intrusive thoughts that through me into a panic ...along came 2020 wich Sucked . The pandemic hit and I was isolated and alone well I felt that way anyways I started getting stressed out with the kids I thought " omg I'm gonna kill these damn kids today " wich ovb I wouldn't I love my babies so much but that thought scared me into a panic and that's all I thought about over and over I finally got out of that...weeks later I had a dream my daughter was playing with my boobs in my sleep ...I woke up and said that was weird does this mean I'm a child diddle So now guess what? That thought started appearing and circulating until I went into a panic I started picturing kids naked wich was just so weird because I'm not like that what so ever ....a few weeks later the word "rape" popped up into my head and I started repeating over and over again and putting peoples names after it...this scared me but I know its just a thought...anyways whenever me and my partner have sex now all I can think about is that word or random baked bodies popping into my head some I don't even find attractive and it feels like I'm going down a rabbit hole of intrusive thoughts...I want to learn to get better I've been going to therepy seeking help the last 10 weeks and I've been a lab rat to different medications since December first lexapro and now sertaline wich the 25 was working and they bumped me up to 50 but the 50 didn't agree with me so im back on the 25 mg ...anyone taking anything for OCD that's helping? Anyone have any ideas to help me ? I'm curious I'm sorry this is long.

"Pure" OCD

Honey Blossom

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

This is very likely to be OCD. I would try and talk to a psychiatrist about the issues they would be able to give you a diagnosis, then you will be able to get the help you need for OCD if you have it. I have delt with these thoughts before so you are not alone. Stay strong ❤️

Honey Blossom

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

I try to distract myself. I take walks with my dog, I read, and I try to watch things that make me laugh. I’ve really enjoyed a show called Impractical Jokers, it’s a funny show. I also try not to spend a ton of time alone as that can trigger the thoughts to start running wild!

mwhite1994

Date posted: 4y

Thank you was their anything you did to help!?

mwhite1994

Date posted: 4y

Yeah I've been cleaning trying to plan to look forward to things , positive affirmations, therepy and meds relaxing tonight im going to yoga for the first time

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