my ocd has been better the last couple of days because no matter what there’s still no answer but something that has worried me is that i did used to be addicted to lesbian porn and there was two posters in this adult store of women having sex together and anytime i see a picture like that or think of me having sex with a girl really turns me on and i feel maybe in the future i might be more open to experimenting but still i don’t get turned on by thinking of me and my bf having sex nothing happens but EVERY SINGLE TIME i get turned on if i think of lesbian shit no matter what. and it’s not a groinal either. i get wet to that shit and masturbate to fantasizies of that. can someone tell me is this due to my porn addiction that i had to lesbian porn? maybe my body is so used to reacting like that it jjst automatically does it. idk not reassurance i just want to know is it due to porn bc i think it might be.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Corie

Date posted: 4y

I don’t want to provide too much reassurance, but I am the same way. I was introduced to pictures of naked woman at a VERY young age ever since then this is what aroused me, it escalated to lesbian and gay porn, images, scenes in movies etc. This is my biggest driving factor in my ocd for this theme. It makes me think I’m not attracted to men and their bodies, but instead I’m attracted to women’s bodies because there are girls who I admire and wanted to look like. OCD takes it as I’m attracted to women and I’ve always liked them. It’s really hard but we can do it. The biggest thing for me is to accept this as is, I do exposures for this but I just have to accept it and not fight it or argue it away or prove it means something.

holley

Date posted: 4y

i’m not sure if we are because i actually get turned on by fantasies of that and sometimes prefer to think of those , and i’m curious this is literally proof i am bisexual

Corie

Date posted: 4y

@holley No, I’m the same way. That’s what was always my go to. It never used cause me as much anxiety, although it always made me insecure because I thought “if anyone knew they would think I’m a lesbian” and “only lesbians or bis think do this.” My hocd has always used this against me and made it convincing at times. There’s a thing called arousal non-concordance, which prettt much means we can be aroused and turned on by things we don’t actually want or desire in our real life. All we can do is accept it as a part of us and move towards the uncertainty of what it means. We do not have to figure it out!

holley

Date posted: 4y

@Corie yes that’s how i think in fact i believe only bi girls or lesbians do that

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond