i’m new to this app and i’m not sure on what i’m doing but i know that i’ve been struggling for a while. after researching, which i know is not what i’m supposed to do, i’m unsure as to if im stuck in real event ocd surrounding some childhood memories, it’s causing intense guilt telling me i am a bad person, anxiety and it’s disrupting sleeping, i have less of an appetite, it will take over my mind for hours sometimes, it came on suddenly and hasn’t lessened since. i have been referred through my doctors to a therapist but i’m not sure on how to talk/open up about it without 1) being judged 2) it not being ocd and me actually being this terrible person and 3) i just don’t know how to get the help but i know i need it. i’m asking for some advice on how to be open about it enough without it being a compulsion but enables me to get some help..

Hi there, I’ve been there, and many people here have been too. To answer your question: A common fear in OCD is being able to open up about the theme you’re experiencing. This fear comes from feeling ashamed and fear that what you’re remembering will be confirmed by a professional. The reality is you’ll have to confront that fear to overcome it. It is intimidating, but it is worth it. To keep perspective, please know there is likely nothing you’ve done, thought, or felt that hasn’t been heard by a professional (or likely a person) before. Cognitive distortions and polarized thinking are OCD’s weapon to keep your mind hijacked and to keep you in a loop of constant doubt about yourself. The good news is this can be treated, and it is much more manageable than it may feel to you right now. To start, it’s important to recognize what compulsions you’re experiencing and the reason for them happening. This process is what the professional needs to understand first and foremost. It can take trying more than one professional to meet your needs, and this is okay too. OCD also requires a specific type of therapy (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), because other forms of therapy can actually worsen the condition, such as “talk” therapy. Remember the issue here is not the theme, nor the memories causing you guilt. If it didn’t cause you guilt beforehand, but now it does, you can safely label these fears as your OCD, which is separate from you. I’m sorry to hear you’re experiencing a disruption in sleep and appetite, I’ve also experienced this. This is a common response to the anxiety your body is experiencing in response to your OCD. I would recommend practicing mindfulness techniques, meditative breathing, staying hydrated, and maybe explore the option of medication if it feels like an option for you. I hope this could be of some help, please know you are not alone and this condition is not a reflection of you.