- Username
- km113456
- Date posted
- 3y ago
But there are actual facts to it like she didn’t even say night last night, she’s replying one word replies, not giving me quality time on the phone and today on her lunch she didn’t even talk to me she just said she’s coming off her phone to eat so I feel like those are valid things to bring up n say I feel like I want more attention
But I also do think the ROCD makes me more hyper aware and critical than I used to be
So I don’t know if I should leave it or say something
It’s hard cause they say communication is key but if it’s just intrusive thoughts I don’t wanna have to say every time but also don’t Wana hold in real issues that bother me and not air them, anyone able to help with this dilemma????
I know exactly how you feel cause I have the same dilemma sometimes except it's about my partner liking a sexy pic of an ex-match/acquaintance WEEKS ago and knowing I actually DON'T want to tell him it bothere me bc I've weighed the consequences and realize it's such a small thing and it's probably my insecurity and jealousy issues + paired with my obsessive tendencies. i've red before it's not the content of your thoughts that makes the OCD but your obsessive tendencies towards it and it seems to me you're ruminating on this thought too much. Normal people would simply go "hey babe, lately you seem distant, is anything wrong or bothering you?" and that's how they open the topic and communicate efficiently. You could do that especially you have HARD facts that could back you up that you're not just imagining it but I'd say wait it out, see if it changes or her behavior changes. If it keeps up and is affecting your ENTIRE relationship then that's when you bring it up. She could be stressed about something too. Sometimes we're so hyper focused on our thoughts and our own problems we forget to pay attention to our partners too. Their REAL situation btw not the "what ifs" in our mind
Communicating how you feel is very important in a relationship, it doesn’t matter if it’s ROCD or not! But try to stay real on the facts (her changes in texting style, her not paying attention to you during lunch) and how they made you feel (invalidated maybe? Sad? Anxious?) rather than letting your OCD thoughts come through (I struggle with “she doesn’t love me anymore”, “she wants to dump me” etc). There can be many reasons why she is acting this way and you’ll never know for sure the reason, but through communication you’ll be able to set healthy boundaries and be clear on your expectations.
Thankyou!
For those struggling with with ROCD do you let your partner in on what’s going through your mind? My boyfriend is my go to person to talk to about anything going on my life and really the only one who understands ocd but I feel it can be hurtful for him if I share intrusive thoughts about our relationship.
Has anyone gotten to the point with ROCD whether you question if the relationship is actually want you want anymore ? I can’t tell if this feeling/thought is OCD anymore or if I genuinely need to leave. I really don’t want to feel this way but I don’t know if wanting to be with my partner or wanting to love him is enough. I’ve had all the extreme anxiety before but no longer. It just feels off, numb like something is missing that I can’t put my finger on. My mind is saying that maybe it just is my time to leave and move on. I can’t figure out if this is just another OCD tactic or true 🤷🏻♀️
My rocd flared up around the time my girlfriend and i were starting the process of getting an apartment. At the start, I was very excited and so happy to be moving together. then my mind kept thinking “she’s not going to let you have any say in anything, she doesn’t want you decorating, you guys don’t like the same things” and i started to believe that, which eventually led to me saying all that. and from there on, it gradually got worse. I started having thoughts like “do i even love her? am i in love with her? having i been faking it this entire time? do i have feelings for anymore? etc” and then i would have thoughts of breaking up and i’d get so anxious. now i wake up every morning thinking “i don’t love her, i don’t want to be in a relationship with her” and i get sooooo anxious. i know i love her, i know i don’t want to break up with her, i know the apartment is something i genuinely want, i just can’t feel any of it right now. every time i think of breaking up, i try to imagine my life without her and it doesn’t seem right. i genuinely can’t imagine not being with her. my feelings and thoughts before all this were very much happy and healthy, like i was smitten but now my thoughts affect me everyday, they’re all i think about. it’s all i research, i talk about it too much to other people, the thoughts are making me feel like i’m faking everything. does anyone have tips. i just want to feel like i used to feel
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