i just feel like being bi at this point is inevitable. it feels like i have to come out to feel complete? idk if that makes sense. also a lot of my friends are bi so it just feels like something that i will just eventually be. it’s so freaky. i feel so happy being only attracted to boys, but for some reason it feels wrong to say in straight, even though that’s what being only attracted to boys literally means. ahh

yes exactly. like i don’t have a problem with saying i’m only attracted to guys, but saying that i’m straight feels like a lie, it’s so weird. and i always feel like i’m just waiting to admit it that i am bi. i think part of it is that our society is so heteronormative so only people who aren’t straight come out, which kinda finalizes it for them, but straight people don’t come out so it feels not final and real? like i feel like i’m just at the point lgbt are at before they come out and be their true self, so if i feel like i have to come out to be my true self too. sorry for the ramble, i kinda just needed to put my thoughts into words and let it out 😅😅

@zeep I’m so glad I don’t feel alone... it’s all so strange though I had a “what if I’m gay” thought one day after I had a conversation with a girl and then I realized I started getting triggered by things I’ve never been triggered by like gay people but now I feel like I’ll eventually be just like them. Like I’ve ruminated in my past so much that I feel like I have evidence that I was bi all along

@Ximena yep, i definitely have evidence from my past that i really am just bi , and it sucks- im so glad you can relate tho , it means so much to know i’m not alone!

@zeep May I ask how did this all start with you?

@Ximena honestly i can’t really remember. i remember watching frozen and then thinking hm, i don’t have to label my sexuality and i felt a little relief that night, but that’s the first i really remember about it, im not sure if it started before that or not. in like 7th grade i questioned my sexuality because i had a friend who i thought was pretty (this is awful i’m sorry) and i looked at her boobs once and i was like huh she has nice boobs , so i had the thought cross my mind every couple months for like 2 years buy it didn’t really mean anything to me until last summer. one thing i can remember clearly is when it started giving me extreme anxiety (i think probably the day after watching frozen lmao) i was like no i’m not doing this again (referring to 7th grade , it’s possible i had hocd then too but mild, not sure) and i said “no” out loud every time the thought entered my mind , but the thought never went away. i have a terrible memory tho, and idk if i had a clear moment when it started, which actually is kinda triggering lmao , but sorry i couldn’t be of more help!

@zeep Oh okay I see, I told my therapist on this app that in the past I have thought some girls were pretty but I never thought of them in a romantic or sexual way but after I had this thought it’s making it seem as that was evidence even though before this I never thought finding another female pretty meant that I was bi of whatever. And now it’s like whenever I see a girl or even gay people I get triggered and I never had that happen to me before so I’m just gonna take the chance and say it’s ocd but then I still doubt that it is

@Ximena i feel that. i’m like 99% sure that i didn’t actually have a crush on my friend in 7th grade, but ocd will always make u doubt lmaoo. it’s so hard to deal with this stuff, so i’m proud of u for getting help, ive been procrastinating doing that for like a year jdjdbdhdbd

@zeep Yep ocd is the doubting disorder lol it really sucks. But thank you I really appreciate it! Erp is hard ngl haha but we can do hard things! Sending you a virtual hug🤗

thank you for this. it helps me more than u think <3