- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I know, it’s so hard. Even though it’s been hard, though, don’t let the ocd win. My harm ocd crosses over too, thinking I’ll go crazy, but being a parent is a joy, if you can push the ocd aside (I know, trust me, I’ve been in the same boat as you, questioning if I could handle children). Tonight I rocked my daughter to sleep and felt so much love for her...AND there was a pair of scissors in her room that my therapist made me put there for ERP....they’ve been there for a week and the fear has subsided so much. I feel so much joy knowing that I was able to rock my daughter tonight without the fear. Tomorrow will bring other worries but for me tonight, that was a major turning point. Don’t let ocd ruin your chances of being a parent!!!!
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi there, have had harm ocd since I was a kid, but know exactly what you mean about fearing you’ll go mad when you get angry at them. I am dealing with this now with my two year old daughter, everything was fine till she started having tantrums and when I get angry I fear I will shake her or throw her. It is terrifying. Currently in therapy now doing ERP for this...the scariest part of this is worrying that when she wakes up screaming in the middle of the night I fear I may hurt her and not realize it, it makes me physically sick. It’s so hard because I stay home with her and am her primary caregiver so I can’t get away, in a way that is good exposure but is a lot of anxiety for me. As far as fearing how you will act when you do have children...I had the worst harm ocd before my son was born. In fact, I had more worries before he came into the world. Once he was born I had more accidental harm ocd. But I know what you mean. Have a plan in place with a therapist. I will tell you it hasn’t been easy with my two children, but you can do it. Even though I still struggle I am doing better each day. Despite the anxiety and terror ocd has caused me, I cant imagine it having my two kids, I love them so much.
- Date posted
- 6y
All of you are so strong! I always wanted kids when I was younger but as I grew into my teens and now 20s and developed the Harm theme...I’d just sort of given up on the idea of being a mother. But reading your posts and comments has given me so much hope. Hang in there everyone
- Date posted
- 6y
All of you are my hero’s!!!! What amazing stories of strength! I have harm ocd and three children, it’s really tough, you all just gave me so much hope!
- Date posted
- 6y
Honestly I had this too. I don’t have kids but I coach toddlers gymnastics once a week, and they can be a real pain! So whenever I got infuriated, especially since my harm OCD was awful at this point, I’d get so scared of my capabilities. But I’d usually just raise my voice slightly and leave it at that. I truly know what you mean though. Just try to breathe and relax. Tell yourself that it’s OCD and not you, and accept that you cannot stop the thoughts.
- Date posted
- 6y
I am from the UK but I don’t really read the news these days (which is bad because I feel so uneducated on everything right now haha). But you’ve got to realise that your OCD knows you adore kids, that’s why it picked them - to go against you! That’s why OCD is such a bitch. Just react to the thoughts less and less each time they pop up, and through time you’ll get better. Have you started therapy?
- Date posted
- 6y
I too worry a lot about my future kids which seems so weird, like i dont even have kids and im worried about it... harm ocd is hard because for me atleast it crosses to other themes as well. I often worry that ill lose my mind and that im going to become crazy even though im fully aware of whats going on with my ocd. I sometimes think i never want kids anymore because of this. I used to always want kids but now i dont know
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for your advice. It’s horrible, something in my head is saying ‘yeah but you actually want to do this.’ :( I’m not sure if you’re UK based but there’s a big news story at the moment about a child who was killed and it’s a real big trigger. I adore children and have grown up surrounded by them it’s so horrible.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self
- Date posted
- 22w
TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
Anybody else struggling with harm OCD?? Father here, mainly goes for my wife and son. It’s been very debilitating. Just started with nocd, anybody going through the same thing or has gotten better??
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