Harm OCD - intrusive thoughts help pls!! I’m on to a new obsession at the moment with harm ocd which is children related. I’m having similar intrusive thoughts people with children might have (fear of harming their kid) but because I don’t have children yet, it’s the fear that I will harm my own children when I eventually have them :( Does anyone else find it hard to differentiate what is general irritable with children when they’re being loud or something and what’s OCD? Like I feel like I’m gonna get really angry at a kid or something and do something crazy and it scares me so much but then it also feels like I actually want to do that to a child eventually, like I have some sort of plan :( Pls help, I’m not asking for reassurance but this obsession is really new to me. Coping mechanisms?

I know, it’s so hard. Even though it’s been hard, though, don’t let the ocd win. My harm ocd crosses over too, thinking I’ll go crazy, but being a parent is a joy, if you can push the ocd aside (I know, trust me, I’ve been in the same boat as you, questioning if I could handle children). Tonight I rocked my daughter to sleep and felt so much love for her...AND there was a pair of scissors in her room that my therapist made me put there for ERP....they’ve been there for a week and the fear has subsided so much. I feel so much joy knowing that I was able to rock my daughter tonight without the fear. Tomorrow will bring other worries but for me tonight, that was a major turning point. Don’t let ocd ruin your chances of being a parent!!!!

All of you are so strong! I always wanted kids when I was younger but as I grew into my teens and now 20s and developed the Harm theme...I’d just sort of given up on the idea of being a mother. But reading your posts and comments has given me so much hope. Hang in there everyone

All of you are my hero’s!!!! What amazing stories of strength! I have harm ocd and three children, it’s really tough, you all just gave me so much hope!

Honestly I had this too. I don’t have kids but I coach toddlers gymnastics once a week, and they can be a real pain! So whenever I got infuriated, especially since my harm OCD was awful at this point, I’d get so scared of my capabilities. But I’d usually just raise my voice slightly and leave it at that. I truly know what you mean though. Just try to breathe and relax. Tell yourself that it’s OCD and not you, and accept that you cannot stop the thoughts.

I am from the UK but I don’t really read the news these days (which is bad because I feel so uneducated on everything right now haha). But you’ve got to realise that your OCD knows you adore kids, that’s why it picked them - to go against you! That’s why OCD is such a bitch. Just react to the thoughts less and less each time they pop up, and through time you’ll get better. Have you started therapy?

Hi there, have had harm ocd since I was a kid, but know exactly what you mean about fearing you’ll go mad when you get angry at them. I am dealing with this now with my two year old daughter, everything was fine till she started having tantrums and when I get angry I fear I will shake her or throw her. It is terrifying. Currently in therapy now doing ERP for this...the scariest part of this is worrying that when she wakes up screaming in the middle of the night I fear I may hurt her and not realize it, it makes me physically sick. It’s so hard because I stay home with her and am her primary caregiver so I can’t get away, in a way that is good exposure but is a lot of anxiety for me. As far as fearing how you will act when you do have children...I had the worst harm ocd before my son was born. In fact, I had more worries before he came into the world. Once he was born I had more accidental harm ocd. But I know what you mean. Have a plan in place with a therapist. I will tell you it hasn’t been easy with my two children, but you can do it. Even though I still struggle I am doing better each day. Despite the anxiety and terror ocd has caused me, I cant imagine it having my two kids, I love them so much.

I too worry a lot about my future kids which seems so weird, like i dont even have kids and im worried about it... harm ocd is hard because for me atleast it crosses to other themes as well. I often worry that ill lose my mind and that im going to become crazy even though im fully aware of whats going on with my ocd. I sometimes think i never want kids anymore because of this. I used to always want kids but now i dont know

Thank you for your advice. It’s horrible, something in my head is saying ‘yeah but you actually want to do this.’ :( I’m not sure if you’re UK based but there’s a big news story at the moment about a child who was killed and it’s a real big trigger. I adore children and have grown up surrounded by them it’s so horrible.