- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey!! I Identify as sexually fluid or pansexual, and I’ve been dealing with ROCD and SOOCD for quite some time now. Just because you have same-sex attraction does not mean that it’s not OCD. Also, it’s helped for me to just tolerate the idea that “maybe I am gay. If I am, and I have to leave my husband, I will cope. I will survive.” Just constantly saying “maybe!” has been a huge turning point for me. It’s also helped for me to address my core fears of abandonment and loss of connection, because I think that for me, those are at the root of why these specific intrusive thoughts feel so scary.
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- 4y
I can’t relate personally but i have seen a few people on the app that can
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes meeee! Sexual Orientation OCD can affect anyone of any orientation. Go with uncertainty! Maybe I'm really gay. Maybe my past attraction to men was false. Maybe I will end up with a woman. I wish I could label myself with a perfect box or be certain about this but I can't. Oh well. Happiness is on the other side of uncertainty
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- 4y
You're not alone! I dont use labels anymore cause it just fuels the ocd but used to call myself bi. It makes the ocd like 100x more intense when you're not one or the other ya know? It's hard cause I've had real attraction to women but always since a kid was into guys (I'm a girl). I'm with a guy, my partner for like 4 years now and this theme just makes me constantly doubt I've ever been attracted to guys. Like the OCD is just not okay with my sexuality being complicated and not clean cut. But I'm working on accepting the uncertainty for the sake of ocd recovery
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- 4y
ah yes! It’s so hard as well because of the anxiety it can be really difficult for me to actually get aroused enough to have pleasureful sex because I’m freaking out about whether or not this specific incident will prove whether or not I’m gay :(
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- 4y
Oh I know just what you mean! ! It's awful sometimes. I actually havent been able to bring myself to have sex in almost a year now bc of it.i avoid intimacy so much. I'm working on desensitizing to the fear so my partner and I can be more intimate again but I've had so much shame and guilt and impatience around it. You're not alone
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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- 16w
So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.
- Date posted
- 14w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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