- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
You are not alone!
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for reminding me! ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
I am also doing a online program and the doctor explained this : like you said you checked checked and checked to see how you felt and probably got a groinal response (which are not sign of arousal)... While you were doing that, your brain was learning. The same way you learn to write, now you don’t even need to think before writing, you just do it because you thought your brain. It is the exact same thing. You thought your brain to have a response... but if you think of it, attraction is not tought, it is natural. Hope this helps and is clear :)
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- 4y
That makes so much sense! Yeah, I wish my OCD would let me believe it. It can be so, so hard!
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- 4y
Hey, you're not alone here. The truth is that it may be arousal (sorry to trigger you!) BUT it is not what you think - it certainly does not prove your sexuality. I suggest learning about non concordance arousal and how HOCD provokes it to no end. It will make you aroused by things you never used to be aroused by (or if you did, you never thought of it as your sexuality), and also make you feel not aroused by things you normally would have arousal with (your partner, for example). You are never alone and we understand how you feel!
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- 4y
Thank you so, so much! I’m sorry if this is kind of like reassurance, but it helps so much to know this because I’ve been terrified of my body for so long. I just want to go back to normal!
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- 4y
@Abby There is a difference between reassurance and knowledge. I believe it's really important to distinguish the two. Reassurance would be to screenshot what I wrote and come back to it periodically, or reciting to yourself that everything is okay. Knowledge, on the other hand, can give you a broader perspective on the world. We live in a black and white mentality and an all or nothing attitude. Knowledge will set you free! I know this seems like a rant, but I used to be in this same cycle. :) I'm here for you, keep going! It does get better!!!
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- 4y
@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. Such good advice, Kylee, thank you! Is there some sort of direct messaging on this app? I’d be so appreciative to get some more information on this and also hear from someone who’s dealt with this before if you’d be ok with that. I find myself completely drowning in this and feeling like I’ve traded bodies with another person.
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- 4y
@Abby Absolutely. You can email me at: kyleecarrier18@gmail.com and talk from there!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 14w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 14w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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