I just saw Colton Underwood from the Bachelor’s coming out story and I am now in a complete downward spiral about him not knowing, trying to figure out who he is and hating himself and maybe that’s me. Anyone else??

There was like 4 posts in a row lol. I think all of us must have woke up and saw that

This just sucks and here i am on this app after finding out he was gay which is basically reassurance and even googled rn on my laptop.. I seriously hate this because I feel just like you maybe I am gay and don’t want to accept it

@Ximena I get that thought all the time too 🤦🏻‍♀️

@222 It’s all so convincing, I feel like my triggers are just proof even tho I didn’t have them before I got an intrusive thought one day😭

@Ximena SAME!!!!! But then my mind tries to play tricks on me say that I did have these thoughts before but I just was suppressing them or something like what 😭

@222 This sucks really😰

Maybe. I didn’t get that far before full panic mode hit.

Yeah he did say that

@Justmesadly I just start spiraling and thinking well maybe I’ve also felt different. I really didn’t until this hit at 22 but Maybe I also avoided sex like he did. Maybe sex is hard for me now not because of OCD but because I’m gay.

@lola2214 Oh gosh don’t say that, I didn’t listen to /watch the video out of fear. I didn’t know he avoided sex. I waited until I was 22 to have sex out of fear and religious reasons but now that makes me feel like really I was just to hide something

@Justmesadly For myself, I really focused on the fact that he felt different from an early age...

@Anonyme That’s a good idea

@Justmesadly Waiting to have sex has nothing to do with it in my opinion... I regret doing it so early in life and wish I would have waited like you guys. Even after years I regret it every day

@Anonyme I hate that I was raised that sex was bad and if you had sex you’d get pregnant, and that you don’t have sex until marriage... but I’m also thankful bc I loved how special it has been even though he dumped me and now maybe one day I’ll have sex with another man that I will hopefully marry but yeah, I understand your regret too!

@Anonyme But I hope there isn’t any correlation

@Justmesadly I am not trying to reassure you but the way I see what you explained it, it seems more like you were tought that sex was bad so you were obviously more conscious about the decisions you made around the subject.

@Anonyme Yea 100% an active choice out of fear done by my friends and parents

I had that theme very briefly. Mine has cycled through trans, POCD, ROCD but nothing has latched like HOCD. Even knowing I’ve experienced different themes, I still am often questioning if i even have OCD. Hang in there!

@lola2214 That's very similar for me. Trans is my main sticking point, but others like to crop up from time to time. The worst part is that this theme is so totalizing because of how much of your life a gender transition involves.