Can someone give me help or advice? I've been so scared of the day I'll finally open up about how horrible my OCD and its themes are to my boyfriend. I can't do it rn because I need to get a diagnosis first but I'm so scared of how he'll react. But I also want to open it up bc It's something I struggle with Like will he accept me? judge me? It's so hard because he tells me he loves me so much and will stick by me no matter what but I don't know if he's ready for what I'm about to open up to him. I also don't know how detailed should I explain it. I have a confession compulsion wherein I feel like I have to explain everything in detail but of course I'm sure the nitty gritty details will make him (even me) uncomfortable like how I've had POCD intrusive thoughts about his nephew and the thoughts I've had when I was ruminating during it. So do I explain like I have POCD and it can involve people I know in real life like your family? Like it's generalized too for future POCD attacks. How do I go about this? How do I open it up and refrain from feeling guilty if I didn't give all the details or feel like I'm leaving things out? Any advice on how to explain how horrible OCD is? I basically just want him to understand how tormenting and horrible it is but I have no control over my thoughts and I just want his support and acceptance.

I guess he doesn't know how bad OCD can get though. You're right all the details won't benefit as its also a compulsion. But I feel like I should mention my themes and how it can involve people in my life and his, I won't go into detail ofc. I feel like if ever, he'll be smart enough to put two and two together anyway. It's also cause sometimes I might end up acting aloof or distant of certain people if they trigger me but Im working on this, like sitting with the discomfort while I interact with them but I feel like my bf should knkw its possible

@rosecoloredgirl Yeah, I also think so, just be careful and try not to confess about anything because I found that I feel better when I tell him how my thoughts are irrational and rn I think rationally otherwise, but it's a compulsion

Yes, very true, I would do that too. It's hard for people to not take this personally, even though they hear you saying this

@Daria Alexandrovna what do you mean by not take this personally?

you're right. i'll probably explain how ocd is and how horrible it is and maybe my themes but not the specific content of my themes. he's better off not knowing and i feel like its a compulsion in disguise too so i have to be careful with that

@rosecoloredgirl Well with ROCD if you tell your partner that you are having doubts about the relationship and they aren't rational doubts Now everyone is going to be calm 100% that it isn't about them

@Daria Alexandrovna I've done that to a previous partner and it didn't end well. I kind of know now to kind of keep it to myself if my thoughts are like that especially when I can identify if its OCD behavior (sometimes I still do gef guilty and feel like I should confess) But I guess I was talking about how my intrusive thoughts involve his family which i hate so so so much bc i love him and love how supportive his familt of us, i feel like i belong and a part of it which sucks more that i get these thoughts about them. it makes me feel VERY guilty and disgusted

@rosecoloredgirl Good luck with this, it's probably the right thing to do <3