I've been struggling a lot lately. I'm just not feeling attracted to men at all right now. Almost down right appalled by them. I consider myself bisexual but it's like a switch was flipped and I cant feel anything towards men anymore. Is this the OCD? Now I'm ruminating on thoughts that I've been gay all along or will become a lesbian. Help.

That's pretty much me all over. My family celebrated my Birthday and I was lost in my head. I had very few moments where I was able to be ok and just be me because I was ruminating. Every time I'm a around a chick I have to check if I'm interested. I'm exhausted every single day because I'm lost in my head with this. I cant be excited about anything. Its terrible.

@Jbm421 Not sure if it will help but when I went through this back in high school and other stuff I had a book I got from Amazon about ocd. And when I'd get a bad thought or catch myself forcefully checking I'd tell myself "I'm not going to do this right now I have other more import things to do." It helped alot but it was crazy hard . I'm also not a doctor or therapist tho. Anyway my point is that ocd made me feel like I needed to get to the bottom of every intrusive thought I had.

Yeah that happens sometimes. And sometimes its reverse and I get triggered by straight people. Like my mind just can't decide what it wants to be triggered by, it just wants to be triggered 😅

@kimhope Oh okay because before I had the “what if I’m gay” thought I never had gotten triggered by them and I feel like it makes me look homophobic and I don’t like that truthfully like there’s nothing wrong with it obviously. But how did you know you were bi? I feel like I’m in denial I know that’s said a lot by people with ocd but I fear with time I’ll realize that:/

@Ximena I was never like that and many gay friends and even relatives. Now, especially with gay dudes, I gotta say "no, these are nice people living their lives, no reason to treat anyone differently" but then my mind twists even that.

@Ximena Um I just remember a classmate (this was an art school so sexual orientation was very open) asking me if I was straight and at the time I said yes but in my head I was like well not exactly. Idk I guess it's just something I recognized when I grew into adulthood. But I've mostly dated/had crushes on men so it was kinda a null topic but I acknowledge my attraction to women too.

@Ximena I wanna also add that everyones experience with defining their sexuality is different and my story is just what happened to me. I dont want to trigger you in any way.

@Jbm421 Yes exactly, I had like two gay friends in hs and I’d give them hugs and what not. And recently saw one of them he works at a pizza place and I couldn’t even say my order because I was so anxious like I had a panic attack I was like wtf...

@kimhope Thanks for that girl, it’s odd like after this thought it makes it seems like I have “evidence” that I was bi all along but before that it was something I never thought about if that makes sense? Like I was boy crazy lol. Like I do clearly remember thinking some girls were pretty and what not but I know thinking people of the same sex attractive doesn’t make someone gay/bi. Because for me I was like oh yeah she is pretty but I never once thought about them in a romantic way much less sexual way so it’s like i don’t even know...

@Ximena You can acknowledge someone being attractive and not be interested in them, that's completely normal. I'm still sure how truly bisexual I am considering I haven't had much experience with women. I just know that I dont feel totally straight lol. And that's okay. Nothing I or anyone else is feeling about their sexuality needs to be figured out right this second. OCD makes you want an answer immediately but in honesty you dont need it. You can sit with the uncertainty and still be okay.

@kimhope *still not sure

@kimhope I completely agree🤍

Glad to know I'm not alone, but I'm sorry to hear you're suffering too.

@kimhope Been so bad today, on my Birthday of all days. Every few minutes its like it's trying like hell to convince me.

Yes, and was comfortable with it.