Anonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 4y
Trust me your partner doesn’t want the negative thoughts anymore than you do, I hate mine so much because my boyfriend is so special to me. Let it be known that his thoughts aren’t an accurate reflection of you or your relationship. Talk to him about it and let him know you’re there for him. If it helps, maybe ask him not to tell you the specific content of his thoughts so you don’t get too upset
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
It is just very hard for me to distinguish between the thoughts being intrusive and th being real. All the doubting makes me wonder if they’re actually real and if I’m actually losing him
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 4y
@jbenoite I completely understand, if I was in your position I’d be terrified. However it is up to your boyfriend to decide if the thoughts mean anything to him or not. Ask him how he feels about the thoughts and why they bother him so much. I’m sure he wouldn’t be trying so hard if he didn’t want to be with you
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@PinkLotus He says that he hates them and they terrify him and he wants to be with me without them there. But sometimes he’ll have moments where he’ll begin to doubt if it’s even ROCD and those moments scare me, but I can’t imagine that it’s anything except the ROCD
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
Let me tell you, your boyfriend really doesn’t want the thoughts there. They do say ocd attacks what you love most. Keep that in mind
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
It is just very scary to think of some of the stuff he thinks about, and I know he hates them most likely more than I do, but it’s just hard to wrap my head around it because it seems like this came out of nowhere
Anonymous Anonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I have rocd and I don’t think you’ll stop being upset. It hurts. That level of uncertainty. Y’all will get through it.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I have exactly the same situation. I've just signed up to this app to get support for my bf - so the username is his. But I cannot tell if what he feels is OCD or if he really hates the rship
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I have the same issue. In my mind it doesn’t make sense how someone can question so much but still love the other person; I was always told if the answer was a maybe, then it is basically a no. But he has had so many breakdowns because of his obsessions, and gets upset almost as much as I do, so that in itself makes me worry for him
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh I feel for you. I broke up with my bf yesterday because it got too much. He told me he is in a thought pattern where he is sexually attracted to younger women, but would never cheat on me. I just couldnt take it. We spoke today and he said his OCD is just so bad. I'm trying to get him a therapist but I dont think I can ever feel attractive around him again. He makes me feel like I'm not fulfilling his desires as he has a thought loop going on of what the ideal woman/ relationship is that relates to porn/ control. It is soo confusing.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
My boyfriend obsesses over other females as well, but it’s more so if relationships with them would be better than a relationship with me. It makes me feel so incredibly undesired and unappreciated
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
That is exactly what mine does! He wonders if another relationship would be better. I feel so so so undesired and have told him this
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I tell him as well, but he always tells me that I am the only one he wants to be with and that the thoughts mean nothing, but it’s just so hard to believe
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
it is so hard. That is why yesterday I broke up with him
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I am very scared that eventually it will get to the point where I break up with him as well, but I desperately don’t want to because I love him very much
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@jbenoite I hear you. This is how I felt too. Is he in therapy? I am trying to get my now ex therapy. But I just feel too insecure that he doesnt want me to think we can get back together
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous He has his first appointment in a week, but this is the only therapist that we could find that was covered by insurance and they’re a drug and alcohol counselor, so I don’t know if they even have experience with OCD and ERP therapy. That makes me ever more concerned
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@jbenoite Good luck. I really hope it works! Remind yourself you are wonderful, beautiful and a real kind and loving person x
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
Yep. Mine also says he doesnt want to be in a relationship with anyone else. But feeling undesired feels too much. I can't tell if he really does want out of the relationship and that's why he is getting the OCD
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
It is the EXACT same thing here, I feel like i’ve cried so much about this. I’m just terrified that this isn’t even ROCD and he just truly doesn’t love me, but I think that it not being ROCD is close to impossible because of the stress he puts himself through
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
It must be ROCD so dont worry, please! I think if he is seeing a good counsellor, it will heal?
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anonymous_an...
- Date posted
- 25w
Questioning is it normal?
Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I can’t tell if I’m not having my needs met or if it’s my ROCD questioning things. I can’t express that I’m upset because he rlly doesn’t understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up it’s turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: “He’s cheating on me and that’s why he’s not texting.”) (IE: “He’s talking like this because he just doesn’t love me, and he’s not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesn’t have the heart to do it yet”)
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- Date posted
- 21w
ROCD
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clair_m88
- Date posted
- 15w
ROCD and house chores
Hi everyone. I’m having a really hard time today in my relationship. I am just feeling so frustrated by my back-and-forth feelings about my relationship. One day I’ll feel so good, and then the next I don’t at all. I think my biggest trigger in the house is the chores that the two of us have to do in the house. I’m much more of a clean person than my boyfriend is. I’m also thinking that he has ADHD and struggles to remember when to do specific chores and I have to remind him pretty often, but he will usually do it when I ask. Today, I’m on a huge spiral of telling myself that he is never gonna be able to learn to do things on his own, he’s not gonna be able to take care of our kids in the future If we do get married, he’s not gonna be able to help take care of our house when we do have one one day, And I am just exhausted. It’s so hard fighting these thoughts all day and then I feel like I have to sit down and talk to him about chores and obviously that doesn’t go well when I’m not feeling good. Definitely a compulsion… It feels so much better when I can just relax and just let him figure things out on his own, and I can just take care of myself. I also come from a household where I was constantly criticized and controlled in certain ways, so I have that to carry too…I’ve gotten much better at doing that most of the time but today is pretty bad. It always feels a little bit worse as well when I’m on my period and feeling very hormonal as well… Can anyone please shed some light on if they’ve experienced this before and any support they might be able to offer in relation to this? Anything would be helpful and please be kind!
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