- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Trust me your partner doesn’t want the negative thoughts anymore than you do, I hate mine so much because my boyfriend is so special to me. Let it be known that his thoughts aren’t an accurate reflection of you or your relationship. Talk to him about it and let him know you’re there for him. If it helps, maybe ask him not to tell you the specific content of his thoughts so you don’t get too upset
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- 4y
It is just very hard for me to distinguish between the thoughts being intrusive and th being real. All the doubting makes me wonder if they’re actually real and if I’m actually losing him
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- 4y
@jbenoite I completely understand, if I was in your position I’d be terrified. However it is up to your boyfriend to decide if the thoughts mean anything to him or not. Ask him how he feels about the thoughts and why they bother him so much. I’m sure he wouldn’t be trying so hard if he didn’t want to be with you
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- 4y
@PinkLotus He says that he hates them and they terrify him and he wants to be with me without them there. But sometimes he’ll have moments where he’ll begin to doubt if it’s even ROCD and those moments scare me, but I can’t imagine that it’s anything except the ROCD
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- 4y
Let me tell you, your boyfriend really doesn’t want the thoughts there. They do say ocd attacks what you love most. Keep that in mind
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- 4y
It is just very scary to think of some of the stuff he thinks about, and I know he hates them most likely more than I do, but it’s just hard to wrap my head around it because it seems like this came out of nowhere
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- 4y
I have rocd and I don’t think you’ll stop being upset. It hurts. That level of uncertainty. Y’all will get through it.
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- 4y
I have exactly the same situation. I've just signed up to this app to get support for my bf - so the username is his. But I cannot tell if what he feels is OCD or if he really hates the rship
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- 4y
I have the same issue. In my mind it doesn’t make sense how someone can question so much but still love the other person; I was always told if the answer was a maybe, then it is basically a no. But he has had so many breakdowns because of his obsessions, and gets upset almost as much as I do, so that in itself makes me worry for him
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh I feel for you. I broke up with my bf yesterday because it got too much. He told me he is in a thought pattern where he is sexually attracted to younger women, but would never cheat on me. I just couldnt take it. We spoke today and he said his OCD is just so bad. I'm trying to get him a therapist but I dont think I can ever feel attractive around him again. He makes me feel like I'm not fulfilling his desires as he has a thought loop going on of what the ideal woman/ relationship is that relates to porn/ control. It is soo confusing.
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- 4y
My boyfriend obsesses over other females as well, but it’s more so if relationships with them would be better than a relationship with me. It makes me feel so incredibly undesired and unappreciated
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- 4y
That is exactly what mine does! He wonders if another relationship would be better. I feel so so so undesired and have told him this
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- 4y
I tell him as well, but he always tells me that I am the only one he wants to be with and that the thoughts mean nothing, but it’s just so hard to believe
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- 4y
it is so hard. That is why yesterday I broke up with him
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- 4y
I am very scared that eventually it will get to the point where I break up with him as well, but I desperately don’t want to because I love him very much
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- 4y
@jbenoite I hear you. This is how I felt too. Is he in therapy? I am trying to get my now ex therapy. But I just feel too insecure that he doesnt want me to think we can get back together
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- 4y
@Anonymous He has his first appointment in a week, but this is the only therapist that we could find that was covered by insurance and they’re a drug and alcohol counselor, so I don’t know if they even have experience with OCD and ERP therapy. That makes me ever more concerned
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- 4y
@jbenoite Good luck. I really hope it works! Remind yourself you are wonderful, beautiful and a real kind and loving person x
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- 4y
Yep. Mine also says he doesnt want to be in a relationship with anyone else. But feeling undesired feels too much. I can't tell if he really does want out of the relationship and that's why he is getting the OCD
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- 4y
It is the EXACT same thing here, I feel like i’ve cried so much about this. I’m just terrified that this isn’t even ROCD and he just truly doesn’t love me, but I think that it not being ROCD is close to impossible because of the stress he puts himself through
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- 4y
It must be ROCD so dont worry, please! I think if he is seeing a good counsellor, it will heal?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
I am at a very difficult spot in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I have a history of cheating that for years we’ve been trying to work through. To me, it makes a lot of sense that my OCD has attached itself to this and for the last few years I’ve experienced intrusive sexual thoughts of others and relationship ocd. I have been open to him about the content of my thoughts and now, with a proper diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, I am able to reframe them and work through them with ERP so that my brain will *hopefully* get bored and stop sending them. But, things have not been easy. As a result of this and everything in our past, he has become anxious about all the scenarios where I could be having sexualized thoughts about other people. To him, if I am thinking something utterly different than what I am telling him or acting like to him, he can’t fully trust it. And of course, I can imagine how difficult it is to know your life partner is sexualizing others in her brain and to be able find a way to dismiss them as unthreatening, especially when past mistakes say otherwise. Is there anyone that has gone through this with a partner? And other than repeatedly explaining the egodystonic nature of my thoughts and providing reassurance, what are some things you did that helped them? Any advice helps! Thank you
- Date posted
- 17w
I personally do not have OCD I am here because I love my bf of 6 years He is a great guy but he is having a hard time with rocd he is currently going through a lot of anxiety with was triggered by us discussing engagement plans This makes me sad because we love each other and I hate seeing a good man having to fight his own mind to be able to be in a relationship with me Someone tell me what to do Point me in the right direction please I am here for him and I will not abandon him I want to go back to him with everything I will learn from you guys Thank you
- Date posted
- 17w
Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.
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