- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Trust me your partner doesn’t want the negative thoughts anymore than you do, I hate mine so much because my boyfriend is so special to me. Let it be known that his thoughts aren’t an accurate reflection of you or your relationship. Talk to him about it and let him know you’re there for him. If it helps, maybe ask him not to tell you the specific content of his thoughts so you don’t get too upset
It is just very hard for me to distinguish between the thoughts being intrusive and th being real. All the doubting makes me wonder if they’re actually real and if I’m actually losing him
@jbenoite I completely understand, if I was in your position I’d be terrified. However it is up to your boyfriend to decide if the thoughts mean anything to him or not. Ask him how he feels about the thoughts and why they bother him so much. I’m sure he wouldn’t be trying so hard if he didn’t want to be with you
@PinkLotus He says that he hates them and they terrify him and he wants to be with me without them there. But sometimes he’ll have moments where he’ll begin to doubt if it’s even ROCD and those moments scare me, but I can’t imagine that it’s anything except the ROCD
Let me tell you, your boyfriend really doesn’t want the thoughts there. They do say ocd attacks what you love most. Keep that in mind
It is just very scary to think of some of the stuff he thinks about, and I know he hates them most likely more than I do, but it’s just hard to wrap my head around it because it seems like this came out of nowhere
I have rocd and I don’t think you’ll stop being upset. It hurts. That level of uncertainty. Y’all will get through it.
I have exactly the same situation. I've just signed up to this app to get support for my bf - so the username is his. But I cannot tell if what he feels is OCD or if he really hates the rship
I have the same issue. In my mind it doesn’t make sense how someone can question so much but still love the other person; I was always told if the answer was a maybe, then it is basically a no. But he has had so many breakdowns because of his obsessions, and gets upset almost as much as I do, so that in itself makes me worry for him
Oh I feel for you. I broke up with my bf yesterday because it got too much. He told me he is in a thought pattern where he is sexually attracted to younger women, but would never cheat on me. I just couldnt take it. We spoke today and he said his OCD is just so bad. I'm trying to get him a therapist but I dont think I can ever feel attractive around him again. He makes me feel like I'm not fulfilling his desires as he has a thought loop going on of what the ideal woman/ relationship is that relates to porn/ control. It is soo confusing.
My boyfriend obsesses over other females as well, but it’s more so if relationships with them would be better than a relationship with me. It makes me feel so incredibly undesired and unappreciated
That is exactly what mine does! He wonders if another relationship would be better. I feel so so so undesired and have told him this
I tell him as well, but he always tells me that I am the only one he wants to be with and that the thoughts mean nothing, but it’s just so hard to believe
it is so hard. That is why yesterday I broke up with him
I am very scared that eventually it will get to the point where I break up with him as well, but I desperately don’t want to because I love him very much
@jbenoite I hear you. This is how I felt too. Is he in therapy? I am trying to get my now ex therapy. But I just feel too insecure that he doesnt want me to think we can get back together
@Anonymous He has his first appointment in a week, but this is the only therapist that we could find that was covered by insurance and they’re a drug and alcohol counselor, so I don’t know if they even have experience with OCD and ERP therapy. That makes me ever more concerned
@jbenoite Good luck. I really hope it works! Remind yourself you are wonderful, beautiful and a real kind and loving person x
Yep. Mine also says he doesnt want to be in a relationship with anyone else. But feeling undesired feels too much. I can't tell if he really does want out of the relationship and that's why he is getting the OCD
It is the EXACT same thing here, I feel like i’ve cried so much about this. I’m just terrified that this isn’t even ROCD and he just truly doesn’t love me, but I think that it not being ROCD is close to impossible because of the stress he puts himself through
It must be ROCD so dont worry, please! I think if he is seeing a good counsellor, it will heal?
My partner has ROCD and we’ve struggled a lot to keep our relationship healthy because of it. We broke up temporarily because it was so hard for me to deal with him being so distant when he was stuck in thought loops and when he would share all the doubts he thought about me it would make me extremely insecure. We are back together now and trying to create healthy boundaries. His ROCD makes me feel like I’m the only one rooting for us and holding us together. I am beginning to take the time to research more about OCD to better understand what he is going through and figure out the best way to support him. I just get so overwhelmed that he will never be happy with me. Any advice?
My boyfriend has ROCD and it can get tough or discouraging at times but I’m in it for the long haul. Does anyone have any affirmations that help them?
Although being diagnosed with OCD nearly 2-3 years ago, I’ve just recently found out more symptoms that were related to it, ones that I had no idea of. For example, reassurance-seeking into my relationship with my boyfriend. Him and I have had a lot of issues over the past year and the stuff he has done made it worse. Even though he’s trying to change for me, I can’t help but feel like he’s lost my trust. And I know this isn’t true because within every promise he makes, I trust every word. I hate asking for his reassurance because I can’t control it at ALL. And no matter how much he tells me that he’s not mad and that I didn’t do anything wrong, it never feels like enough. He tries to cheer me up and deal with my mood swings, but I get angry and upset so easily that I start to feel like I’m ruining his life. I don’t want to ask for his reassurance on it either.
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