Anonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 4y
Trust me your partner doesn’t want the negative thoughts anymore than you do, I hate mine so much because my boyfriend is so special to me. Let it be known that his thoughts aren’t an accurate reflection of you or your relationship. Talk to him about it and let him know you’re there for him. If it helps, maybe ask him not to tell you the specific content of his thoughts so you don’t get too upset
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
It is just very hard for me to distinguish between the thoughts being intrusive and th being real. All the doubting makes me wonder if they’re actually real and if I’m actually losing him
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 4y
@jbenoite I completely understand, if I was in your position I’d be terrified. However it is up to your boyfriend to decide if the thoughts mean anything to him or not. Ask him how he feels about the thoughts and why they bother him so much. I’m sure he wouldn’t be trying so hard if he didn’t want to be with you
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@PinkLotus He says that he hates them and they terrify him and he wants to be with me without them there. But sometimes he’ll have moments where he’ll begin to doubt if it’s even ROCD and those moments scare me, but I can’t imagine that it’s anything except the ROCD
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
Let me tell you, your boyfriend really doesn’t want the thoughts there. They do say ocd attacks what you love most. Keep that in mind
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
It is just very scary to think of some of the stuff he thinks about, and I know he hates them most likely more than I do, but it’s just hard to wrap my head around it because it seems like this came out of nowhere
Anonymous Anonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I have rocd and I don’t think you’ll stop being upset. It hurts. That level of uncertainty. Y’all will get through it.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I have exactly the same situation. I've just signed up to this app to get support for my bf - so the username is his. But I cannot tell if what he feels is OCD or if he really hates the rship
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I have the same issue. In my mind it doesn’t make sense how someone can question so much but still love the other person; I was always told if the answer was a maybe, then it is basically a no. But he has had so many breakdowns because of his obsessions, and gets upset almost as much as I do, so that in itself makes me worry for him
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh I feel for you. I broke up with my bf yesterday because it got too much. He told me he is in a thought pattern where he is sexually attracted to younger women, but would never cheat on me. I just couldnt take it. We spoke today and he said his OCD is just so bad. I'm trying to get him a therapist but I dont think I can ever feel attractive around him again. He makes me feel like I'm not fulfilling his desires as he has a thought loop going on of what the ideal woman/ relationship is that relates to porn/ control. It is soo confusing.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
My boyfriend obsesses over other females as well, but it’s more so if relationships with them would be better than a relationship with me. It makes me feel so incredibly undesired and unappreciated
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
That is exactly what mine does! He wonders if another relationship would be better. I feel so so so undesired and have told him this
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I tell him as well, but he always tells me that I am the only one he wants to be with and that the thoughts mean nothing, but it’s just so hard to believe
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
it is so hard. That is why yesterday I broke up with him
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I am very scared that eventually it will get to the point where I break up with him as well, but I desperately don’t want to because I love him very much
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@jbenoite I hear you. This is how I felt too. Is he in therapy? I am trying to get my now ex therapy. But I just feel too insecure that he doesnt want me to think we can get back together
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous He has his first appointment in a week, but this is the only therapist that we could find that was covered by insurance and they’re a drug and alcohol counselor, so I don’t know if they even have experience with OCD and ERP therapy. That makes me ever more concerned
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@jbenoite Good luck. I really hope it works! Remind yourself you are wonderful, beautiful and a real kind and loving person x
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
Yep. Mine also says he doesnt want to be in a relationship with anyone else. But feeling undesired feels too much. I can't tell if he really does want out of the relationship and that's why he is getting the OCD
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
It is the EXACT same thing here, I feel like i’ve cried so much about this. I’m just terrified that this isn’t even ROCD and he just truly doesn’t love me, but I think that it not being ROCD is close to impossible because of the stress he puts himself through
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
It must be ROCD so dont worry, please! I think if he is seeing a good counsellor, it will heal?
Related posts
bubbsle
- Date posted
- 18w
Tips for Anxiety
Hey guys! My boyfriend has said recently that he doesn't know if he's strong enough to continue with our relationship because of my OCD. He wants to see me overcome my symptoms and learn to live a healthy life with OCD, but my anxieties and obsessions are starting to really affect his life. I understand his reasoning, it's hard to see someone you care about struggle with OCD, especially when it starts to affect you too. I'm asking for tips to deal with my compulsions in the relationship. I HAVE to know the answer to things and sometimes that leads into arguments because even with apologies and discussions I can't let things go, even if they genuinely don't matter or are miniscule issues we have. It's a healthy relationship otherwise but I feel horrible because it's impacting him so negatively, that's the absolute last thing I want to happen. I care for him deeply and he cares for me too, so I don't want my OCD to be a reason we break up but I fear it's headed in that direction. I'm starting therapy soon, but until then what are some things I can do to stop my ROCD from impacting him? I know sitting in the guilt and anxiety of not completing my obsessions will help, but I'm wondering if there are other things I can do to maybe remedy some of the damage already done.
MM311
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 17w
relationship ocd?
for me it’s getting to the point where i don’t feel in love with my boyfriend anymore. i’m trying to keep myself from compulsing since my compulsions are all mental. it’s like the thoughts consume my mind every second of every day and i can’t catch a break. it’s like i want to be with him so bad but my brain won’t allow me. any advice?
lulu2
- Date posted
- 9w
Relationship OCD - PLEASE HELP
Hey guys, I’m reaching out in a pretty weak spot of desperation. I feel so insane and so sick of my mind recently, I’m completely drained from my mind. I’ve had such bad spikes of RCOD in my relationship of 1.5 years , which kills me because I truly want nothing more than to just be his peace and for us to work out. I love him more than anything and I would do anything for him. I feel like the pressure I placed on making sure I was “perfect” was so counter productive becuase instead I find myself doing everything wrong. I tell myself not to think of the wrong thing, then I think of the wrong thing, then I feel so guilty, and it plagues my mind for days. I feel so guilty it makes me feel detached and like I’m a bad girlfriend. I feel so bad for always burdening him with my anxieties and my “wrong thoughts” becuase he doesn’t deserve it, he’s so amazing. Recently, I began overthinking if I “love him” which I KNOW is so silly because when I’m calm, I laugh that I even got so worried , but when my anxiety creeps in, it feels so debilitating. I spiral and then try to prove to myself that I do love him , which then makes things in that moment feel “forced” because I’m acting out of intent to win the battle in my head. My RCOD has been a persistent issue, but this particular theme is pretty new and I hate it. I feel like I’ve been placing pressure on myself to overly appreciate him and it’s so counterproductive. I feel so bad because I told him about everything and he now thinks I don’t love him. Which is so wrong. I just want this to be fixed. Sometimes I feel like he’d be better off with a girl that isn’t such a headache and wouldn’t drain him all of the time but at the same time , I could never accept him being with anyone but me. Also, I have seen a psychoglist but it just didn’t feel right and I hated vocalising my thoughts because I felt it gave them more power - it feels like the only person I can truly be raw with about this stuff is my bestfriend. If anyone has any tips , PLEASE help me.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond