this is a vent, feel free to scroll. i can't do any other compulsions. nothing works. im sick and tired i just want to sink into the floor and d*e. i can't answer all these questions. i just want to return back to who i was half a year ago when ocd wasn't even a word in my vocabulary. i don't know how to deal with this anymore im just praying it's ocd at this point. my mind is like a messy room i can't even enter because of the fucking junk that's in there. i can't trust my own self, my mind won't let me trust anyone either. i was my own guide but now i feel like i need a babysitter or I'll go insane. i didn't know it could get this bad and i wish i had gotten professional help already but, that's not even possible when your mother “doesn't believe in mental illness”. im sick

@Kendy228g thank you for replying well you see the issue is that i don't even have a therapist or an ocd diagnosis, im 15 and my parents know nothing about this because all of my compulsions are mental. i told my mother twice about this a few months ago but she never took me seriously.

@feethebee This is my situation right now. It took a me while for me to finally tell my parents, more specifically my mom about my ocd and she didn’t understand me or wanted to listen to me abohtit . It’s been months and she still doesn’t think I need help . I’ve kept this all to my self for the past 2 years and I had the courage to tell her about it a few months ago. I’m feeling more alone as I know that no one in my house is here to support me. I feel anxious every time .

@Anonymous im so sorry to hear that. it's horrible how we're denied help because of this stupid fucking stigma surrounding mental illness... not even our loved ones want to understand. it's so cruel. please try and tell another trusted adult if you can, like a school counselor. you might get some help through there. you deserve so much better

i told her 5 months ago that im showing symptoms of OCD. she said that it's all in my head and that OCD isn't actually like that, it's about cleaning and wanting to be organized. i explained her that this is not true but she tried to avoid the conversation and pretended everything was okay. ive told her about this twice and i have now abandoned all effort since she refuses to understand. she probably knows im not doing very well lately but me and her aren't that close anymore so.. im not close with my family in general because my family members trigger my ocd so i don't spend much time with them anymore. im doubting i have ocd because my mind is such a mess i don't know what the hell im supposed to tell a professional when i myself don't know what's wrong with me...

@Kendy228g thank you so much for talking to me you seem very sweet. i know i probably have ocd it's just that im so mentally drained that i can't figure anything out. im constantly confused. I'll try to do more activities i enjoy to take my mind off things but it's definitely easier said than done. once again thank you so much