- Username
- Sher
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Listen I think that the trauma of losing that son is what's bonding them rn. Once the healing gets over with they won't really be in contact anymore because she will be busy with her life and you two will be busy with the life with your child.
Itd be good to you to share this with a therapist. There is also erp practice in this app you can do alone without a therapist
For rocd, it includes a hierarchy and certain uncomfortable practices like drawing a picture of them together and so forth
What I’ve learned in therapy so far is that our brains don’t like uncertainty - in your case, your brain doesn’t like not knowing for sure how important his ex is to him, what the future holds for them, etc. We have to train ourselves to be okay with the uncertainty though, because there’s no way to predict the future and trying to “figure it out” constantly (AKA ruminating) never works and is exhausting. Try telling yourself (as much as it sucks) “There’s no way to know what the future holds for their relationship, who knows what’ll happen”
it’s called retroactive jealousy ocd! i’m battling it right now. what i’ve been doing works for me, though i don’t know for others. i brought it up right away with my s/o, told him everything i think about (mental images, videos) so he could understand. i tried to replace every mental image of him x his ex with then me x him. i acted as my own “therapist” in the mirror and tried to ask myself questions like “why do you get jealous over x?” “why is it important to you?” been getting better
So I have been working with exposure therapy for the past couple days and I think it's going good. But I have a question for those that suffer from relationship OCD. Now the thought "I don't love him" isn't about my husband... I'm gonna feel terrible for saying this but it's about my own son. He's my only baby and he's 7. I know deep down I love him more than anything but small things trigger me and makes me think I don't. Like tonight I'm forgetting some good memories and some things I feel like good mothers would never forget. Is this common? I'm freaking out here.
I have been with my SO going in 13 years now. We met in college and have been together ever since. We got married in 2021 and welcomed a baby girl in the world last year. I had a severe mental breakdown in 2013 that landed me in the hospital because I was contemplating suicide. That breakdown nearly destroyed our relationship. I had severe intrusive thoughts and felt the need to tell him all of them. I felt like if I didn’t tell him, I was lying. I destroyed his self esteem, telling him all of the mean thoughts I had about him. I would feel the need to tell him anytime I saw an attractive guy in public, I questioned our relationship and told him I wasn’t sure if I loved him anymore. It was bad and very dark. Fast forward to now and I feel like I’m letting him down in different ways. I don’t feel the need to tell him every thought I have now but since having my daughter my OCD and depression seem to be getting worse. I just feel like I’m no longer happy and my daughter should’ve had a mom that wasn’t damaged like me. Didn’t have the abusive childhood like me. Wasn’t broken like me. I feel so much guilt. It’s putting such a strain on our relationship and I feel like my husband deserves someone better. Someone whose happier.
Hello guys, Im new here and seeking for advice. Im in a relationship with an amazing guy. I love him so much and that’s why my ocd and anxiety are latching onto my connection with him. He was staying over at my place and 2 events happened (something to do with his disease and he had an allergic reaction to food) that caused my stress and anxiety levels to be higher than normal. Followed by a night of bad sleep made things worse. I became very alert and was easily triggered. Something occurred that I completely miscalculated and we talked about it but my anxiety was through the roof at this point. I got these disturbing images of me hurting him in my head. I have had intrusive thoughts in the past but it didn’t affect me this much. Because of the lack of sleep and my high anxiety level made me so afraid of myself that I made the decision to sent him home. I have cried so much since that happened. I feel so bad for having that thought. I love him so much. Our communication is very healthy so I’ve told him about this the day after (why I sent him home). I couldnt do it in the moment because i didnt want to make the situation worse. We werent in a fight when i sent him home but both emotional and hugging each other. I have the feeling that my anxiety and ocd have won the battle by sending him home (avoidance). But i care so much for him that I didn’t want him to be at risk (thats what my mind tells me, i know its showing me disturbing images the opposite of what i want). Im in the early stage of having this type of OCD but I don’t want to lose him. But for me the only way to get this relationship to work is to get rid of this. Can anyone relate? Like, having intrusive thoughts about your partner? I know its latching on to the things you love the most and I hate it so much. Thanks in advance :)
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